Odd Ways of Finding Me ...and... "It's a Nasty World After All...."

During my stay in the tech world, I became interested with web site statistics because they always showed something you weren't logically expecting. So because of that, I do have a way of watching who visits my blog. Yes, that means if you think you are visiting incognito or that I'm unaware of your presence, you're wrong. I know where you are coming from, what search criteria you used to find me and the time of your visit.

I've meant to mention this in past postings, but neglected to do so. The stats for today though are particularly varied and that has prompted me into action. So without further ado, here is just a small sampling of today's visitors and my feedback on them:

• "$160,000 fountain pen" -- Virginia. I don't recall writing about an item like this; however, I think due to me being a Capricorn I do have an unusual fascination with silly, ridiculous and impractical luxury items so I might have mentioned something like this over the past 18 months of this blog.
  
• "Montezuma County + Rally in the Rockies injunction" -- Missouri. I do recall this posting - yet another half-baked biker rally where people didn't get paid.
  
• "Banned Rainbow episode" -- Norfolk, UK. This is popular search query from the UK to my blog. I included the script and video clip of this naughty bit from a children's show.
  
• "Sexy doll breeding machine" -- Vienna, Austria. I would have to say that in the past 18 months I have indeed used each of those 4 words; however, never have I seen those 4 words used together....until now.
  
• "Banned breed list" -- North Dakota. Probably someone looking for a list of dogs that are "banned breeds".
  
• "KKK - Hico, TX" - Oklahoma. Yes, I have mentioned this. Hico is the home of Billy the Kid and also, according to talk, has been a popular place for the KKK. There is the Koffee Kup Kafe there which is a popular stopping place en route to the Texas Hill Country from Dallas.
  
• "Nicky Bootz" -- Budapest, Hungary. This would be in regards to the 10-episode series, "Wright Across America" where Arsenal football legend Ian Wright rode cross country from Florida to San Diego with Nicky.
  
• "Johnny Chop death" -- California, Canada, UK. Must be a news article or one of the biker shows repeating. Yes, Johnny died in late March 2006. He was 34 and received a heart transplant a few years ago. His heart simply gave out.
  
• "Tiny condoms" - California. This was mentioned in the post about the less than well endowed men of India having wee willy winkies that didn't measure up to the international standard for penis sizes. I guess the boys at Trojan need to find a way to make tiny condoms so the boys in India can stop spreading AIDS at such a high rate.

...It's a Nasty World After All...

Anyone that reads this often, has probably seen some of my postings about swearing by anti-bacterial wips and hand sanitizer gels / lotions.

So there's this guy named Charles Gerba who is microbiologist at the University of Arizona and he's always running around testing to see how nasty things are. About a year ago he released a report informing the world that accountants and teachers were by far the owners of the nastiest, most germ laden desks, keyboards, etc.

Those of us in the television production sector, doctors and lawyers had the most germ free desks.

Now, Dr. Gerba has come out with yet more fascinating tidbits from the world of filth.

It seems that people are not cleaning their cell phones. I have a tendency to wipe mine down alot but I'll probably be doing it even more now. He tested 25 phones from cast and crew at Good Morning America and half of them carried staph infection bacteria! The sound guy had between 10-50 million bacteria on his phone!

Why are cell phones so popular with bacteria? Because they are nice and warm. The batteries heat them up, your hand is warm, your face is warm and the pocket of your jeans you slide the phone into is warm.

Another recent study showed that women have filthy purses. Some of the women who had their purses tested just blew off the findings because they said they don't ever touch the bottom of their purses....they don't? They don't set them on tables or counters when they walk in somewhere or their home? Their clothes don't brush up against them? The strap isn't hanging off the back of a chair where dozens of people have laid their hands to push that chair in and out from the table?

People thought Howard Hughes was an eccentric for being anti-germs -- I think that man was just ahead of his time.

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Britain's Most Challenged Call Centre Customers

A hilarious collection of the stupidest customers to ring Britain's call centres has become a cult hit. Many callers were recorded as they went through some of the silliest inquiries ever received by exasperated operators.

The loony exchanges are rapidly flying around the web in a chain email. Here are some of the best...

• Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
• Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
• Customer: "It was on the door to the travel centre".
• Operator: "They're our opening hours".

• Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
• Operator: I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
• Caller: "In the user guide it clearly states I need to unplug the fax machine from the wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Can you give me his number?"

• Caller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
• Operator: " Doesn't the name of the product give you a clue?"

• Caller: "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

• Caller: "I''d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
• Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
• Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B fell off".

• ...Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven...
• Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
• Caller: "Yes. That''s what it says on the label: Woven in Scotland".

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I''m steaming up the window to write the number on".

• Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
• Customer: "OK" .
• Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
• Customer: "No" .
  Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
• Customer: "No" .
• Tech Support: "OK. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
• Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

• Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
• Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
  

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Billy Idol Does Christmas

It's not exactly White Wedding or Flesh for Fantasy - but it's definitely Idol.

Santa Is On The Move!

It's official - Santa is en route and delivery toys right now!

When I last looked, he was in Brazil. Watch the activities yourself on the NORAD Santa Tracker.
www.noradsanta.org


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Happy Festivus!

On 18 December 1997, an episode of Seinfeld highlighted a celebration called "Festivus". Remarkably, this situation was not the brain child of the show's writers but was in fact based on fact.

• Tired of stressing over gifts?
• Tired of the forced jovial sentiments?
• Tired of the fact that Christmas seems to have lost it's real meaning (No, it was not always a holiday to make the 4th quarter profits of all major retailers look healthy).

Well, join the cause. Here you will find some interesting links on the background of Festivus, how it is catching on and how you too can participate.

It's easy to get involved with Festivus:

• The event is typically celebrated in late December; non-holiday weekdays are preferred because that allows for a work stoppage!.
• Put up a plain aluminum pole - about 6' tall usually does the trick.
• No adornments / tinsels / balls / lights are needed for the pole because it symbolizes the simple meaning of Festivus.
• Gather your nearest and dearest for a dinner.
• Cocktails are encouraged.
• After dinner have the "Airing of the Grievances" - if anyone has ticked you off, speak now or forever hold your peace.
• The evening ends with who ever can wrestle the host to the floor -- though, many find this practice a little hard core so changes like thumb wrestling or hula-hooping have been instilled to help burn off the aggressions.

By this point you should be cathartically cleansed of all emotional and physical B.S. and be able to begin the New Year on the right foot.

Also, YOU can assist in helping me to promote the meaning of Festivus - which in a roundabout way promotes the true meaning of Christmas. Just click on the Paypal Donation buttons to the right and in the spirit of the Festivus season - since your saving so much on not buying tree trimmings and gifts -- you can help me to promote the Festivus cause!

....Happy Festivus One and All....

Additional inspiring reading on Festivus:

• Festivus on Wikipedia
• "Seinfeld" spurs Festivus pole sales
• Festivus poles for sale (stand included)
• The Seinfeld script from the Festivus episode

I Hurt Myself Today .... To See If I Still Feel.....

Sometimes you just need to see certain images again. I love this video from Johnny Cash.

Rick Rubin of American Recordings told Cash that he could record anything he wanted - Cash selected this Nine Inch Nails song. The imagry is haunting and beautiful and you can't help but be struck by the timing as it recaps his entire life and was filmed right before June's death.

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You Might Want To Really Consider Your Domain Name Before Registering!

Thanks to Teri for sending these!

All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear ... and be misread. These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

1. "Who Represents" is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is http://www.whorepresents.com
2. "Experts Exchange" is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at http://www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than "Pen Island" at http://www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try "Therapist Finder" at http://www.therapistfinder.com
5. There's the "Italian Power Generator" company, http://www.powergenitalia.com
6. And don't forget the "Mole Station Native Nursery" in New South Wales , http://www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you're looking for "IP computer software", there's always. http://www.ipanywhere.com
8. The "First Cumming Methodist Church" Web site is http://www.cummingfirst.com
9. And the designers at 'Speed of Art" await you at their wacky Web site, http://www.speedofart.com

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What Makes A Good Celebrity?

Some people are much better at being celebrities than others. A classic one was Michael Hutchence of INXS. He loved being a rock star - the music, the clothes, the travel, the fans, the perks, etc. He unfortunately also had the kind of death that would make him legendary.

My personal favorite is Mick Jagger - he's brilliant. Literally. Last week Gene Simmons made the comment that if the likes of him and Jagger hadn't been rock stars they would have ended up flipping burgers. I don't buy that. Jagger was in the London School of Economics when the Stones got together and after buying into the system and allowing various managers and agents run things for a few years, Mick and the boys found themselves broke in the early 70's.

Jagger got involved and started learning everything he could. To this day, he is the force behind the Stones -- a band that's average member is 63 years of age, a band that has been together for almost 45 years, a band that hasn't had a hit album in years -- but they had the biggest grossing tour of the past 18 months.

Pete Townshend of The Who asked Mick a couple weeks ago how everything was going. Mick replied, "All right." How is Keith? "All right". How is Ronnie? "All right." Ok, Mick, how are you? "Well I'm still fucking running everything!"

Ah yes, a man who has learned that it is not wise to trust your money to anyone or delegate.

Then we come to crappy celebrities - in this case Lindsay Lohan. I don't think I've ever seen her in a film. Her tantrums, and drunken nights at the age of 20 and full blown wackaloon break downs in the middle of a celebrity audience are becoming the norm rather than the exception. This girl should just go back to the Bronx and leave everyone alone.

But every cloud has a silver lining and in Lohan's case, it's Perez Hilton. He's a jovial gay boy from Miami who packed his bags for the bright lights of WeHo (West Hollywood) and now holds court with his laptop at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf on Sunset & Fairfax. He religiously updates his site throughout the day and just calls it like he sees it.

I appreciate that. His dead on, sometimes catty comments, truly sum up the sentiments of many people - in this case, Lohan. While the rest of the world turns on Entertainment Tonight for their celebrity scoop, I don't think anything can beat Perez. On top of it, he's getting a giggle and seems to be genuinenly appreciative of his new found celebrity -- I say, more power to him and keep up the good work!



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Americans: Successfully Offending the World Population, One Conference Call At a Time!

So since Teri is up in yankee land now, I suggested she could start writing her column again for www.2wheelpassport.com. Her reply? "But this is more work!" I replied with sending her a screen capture showing the stats of the site visitors in the past few hours and let her know that she will be able to successfully offend, entertain and tantalize people in New Zealand, Canada, Asia and Europe in addition to everyone she already offends stateside and in Finland.

I also let her know that yesterday our friend Jimbo managed to offend a bunch of Koreans during a conference call. Granted, he didn't eloquently tell the guy his idea "was fucked" as Teri has been known to do at a conference table full of Finns, but needless to say there is yet another batch of foreigners out there who are ranting about the "rude Americans".

Given the stories I hear from some of the people I know, I find it odd that The Illustrious One thinks I can be abrasive at times. I've been known the throw phones against walls due to being very "exhasperated" but I've never managed to offend an entire group of people from another nationality -- at least, not to their face.

But, I am a girl from the South, so give me time. I'm sure under the right circumstances I could stir up quite the international incident and knowing my luck it will all be on tape so it can be shown for time immortal on YouTube.

And now we have a film that is coming out in early March that I personally am looking forward to seeing:

I'll Take A Celeb With My Swag...

So during the course of conversation today someone mentioned how kewl would it be to have a celeb at a party. I replied, "So build it into your budget." They didn't know what I was talking about, in fact, was unaware that celebs are commodities, their inventory is their time, so pay up and they are yours - within reason - for an evening.

Let's be realistic, if you are opening a club, you spend an easy $2500 just on swag or ads. Sell a few more cocktails and have a celeb there as well. Here are some of the going rates (most everyone will have an entourage of 1 plus require travel expenses (air fare, ground transport, hotel, food, etc):

• Kevin Federline: $12k + travel expenses for entourage of 4
• Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas: $50k + 1
• Dear or No Deal Models: $1k + 1
• Cindy Margolis: $15k + 2
• CC Deville of Poison: $5k + 2
• Jamie Kennedy: Currently on tour but will party with you after his show for $10k
• Steve O from Jackass: $18k + 2
• Ron Jeremy: $3,500 + 2
• Dave Navarro: $10k + 2

You Asked For the "Tiny" Condom?

So I guess this means that an Indian guy could wear a "Texas-sized" condom as a rain slicker?

Dec 8, 2006 — NEW DELHI (Reuters) - Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found.

The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run center, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 percent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about 2.4 cm (one inch) shorter than those condoms catered for.

For a further 30 percent, the difference was at least 5 cm (two inches). A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn't do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use.

"One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 percent (of condoms) is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis," the council's Dr. Chander Puri told Reuters, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry.

Puri said many men in India, which has the world's highest HIV positive caseload, were too shy to ask for condoms.

"We need more vending machines for condoms of different sizes so people can pick a condom with confidence that is suited to their needs," he said.

The Times of India reported the ICMR survey had studied 1,400 men between 18-50 years of age in cities like Mumbai and New Delhi as well as in rural areas in a report. It entitled its story "Indian men don't measure up."



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Godard's Latest Creation...

So anyone that reads this blog often knows I'm passionate about Michael Godard. There hasn't been many works out of him this year due to his daugter Paige's illness. She passed away a month ago due to brain cancer and he's just now getting back into the studio.

I received these photos today and they are of Godard, back in the studio within the past couple days, and putting the finishing touches on his newest work.

This is such a gorgeous piece. There will be 200 Artist's Proofs at $1,395 and only 20 special "Godard" editions whose price has not been set yet. The original of this sold within moments of the email being sent out.

Complaint-free Movement -- I think this idea has a lot of merit -- read for yourself....


KANSAS CITY, Mo. — It was a pastor's simple idea: Just stop complaining.

And to help his congregation remember, the Rev. Will Bowen of Christ Church Unity gave each member a bracelet stamped with the word "spirit."

The challenge? Go 21 days straight without mumbling a complaining word and no gossiping and criticizing either. If a person slipped, the bracelet was to be switched to the other wrist and clock restarted.

But what began in July as a simple idea has become a national movement.
The church has received more than 100 calls, e-mails and letters, many requesting bracelets the church is offering for free.

"So far, we have sent out more than 9,000," Bowen said.

Requests for bracelets have come from individuals, families, churches of various denominations, businesses, schools, civic groups, scouts and sports teams.

The church offers yard signs and bumper stickers that read "A Complaint Free World.org," and it is selling "complaint-free church" T-shirts with this quote from Maya Angelou: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."

Christ Church's own complaint-free club is growing as people reach their 21 straight days without complaining. Of the 250 members, the club now numbers 12 and includes Bowen and his 10-year-old daughter, Lia, he said.

Patricia Platt recently succeeded, with a push from her fourth-grade class. Several students told her their parents had seen her name in the paper and asked what it was about. She told them, and many wanted the class to try the challenge.

Careful not to offend parents by getting the bracelets from her church, Platt bought bracelets that displayed such words as "hope," "be strong" and "dream." All of her 25 students wanted bracelets, regularly shared in the class how they were doing, wanted updates on how their teacher was doing and applauded when she announced her success earlier this month.

Fourteen students also have made it and received "positive attitude" certificates.

"This was an incentive for me because I knew they were looking up to me," Platt said. "One girl said she needed to learn how to handle her little sister because she always has to change her bracelet because of her. And sometimes a student will come up and start to say something, then stop and say, 'Never mind. That would be complaining.' "

Bowen is surprised by how quickly his idea ignited.

"Obviously a chord has been struck that is just vibrating," he said. "And it is continuing to build momentum. More and more people are finding out about it. I'm just flabbergasted."

Mignon Bullington of Camarillo, Calif., who ordered bracelets for her family, said the complaint-free challenge "struck strong emotions" in her.

"I noticed that when my husband and I were being negative about any such subject, our kids (ages 19, 17 and 11) would chime in," she said. "How horrible that is to see and realize how our children are being taught to act, react and live."

For her, the challenge offered hope for a more peaceful and kind society.

The Rev. Howard Self, interim pastor at Congregational Church in Algonquin, Ill., said the church's administrative assistant brought an newspaper article about the bracelets to him. She had been visiting in Kansas City when it appeared in the newspaper there. "When I read it, I said, 'I have to figure out a way to use this.' "

The congregation had been through a rough time.

"I saw this as the first step in moving from a complaint-filled congregation to a complaint-free congregation," Self said.

On Sunday, the bracelets will be given out at the end of the worship service.

"This will be the symbolic closing of the door on complaining," Self said.
Bowen now is dreaming big.

"What I think we will see in the future, we will turn on our television, and there will be characters and people wearing the bracelets, and it will be a nonsurprise.

"And we may turn on 'Oprah' and say, 'Oops, it is back on the right arm!' Or Regis will be telling Kelly, 'I can't go 21 days! Is he nuts? It's baseball season!' "

Linda LeMieux of Christ Church, who recently made her 21 days, said, "We want world peace, but the question is always, what can one person do? This is it."


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Women Riders Now

Today 2 Wheel Passport is the top story on the popular site Women Riders Now.

I emailed Teri to let her know she was becoming famous!

Check out the story at:
www.womenridersnow.com



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