Sunday, August 27, 2006

Equality In Relationships?

The items I am about to write about are my opinion only. This will probably offend some - women in particular - but it's my blog and if you don't like it, don't read it or go post on your own.

So the editor of Forbes Magazine writes an article entitled "Don't Marry a Woman with a Career" and all hell broke loose. Forbes took the article offline and replaced it with "Don't Marry a Lazy Man" written by a female.

But what is the root of this issue? Is it possible for the vast majority of heterosexual couples in industralized nations to be in a relationship with complete and total equality? Are men and women completely equal in all regards?

Now don't jump off the deep end and think that I believe that women shouldn't vote or drive -- absolutely they should. I also believe in freedom of choice for women. But I do not think that most relationships can be completely 50/50 and long lasting in a postive way.

There are going to be those relationships where you have the "Stay At Home Mom / Dad" -- I don't understand this concept for the simple fact that I get bored so quickly. Why anyone would want to hang around the house playing house manager, watching Oprah and schlepping kids around is beyond me. I want my life legacy to amount for more than "I took the kids to soccer practice every day for 8 years".

I think if a girl wants her own career she should have it -- but that isn't what I see as the root of the issues with couples. It's a lack of respect for the dominate party. Now before you feminazi's start yelping - just consider this -- A Fortune 100 company does not have dozens of CEO's -- they only have 1. There is only one President of the USA. There has to be a chain of command otherwise chaos erupts.

So that brings us back to the battle of the sexes -- women don't want to play Happy Homemaker anymore and men today are afraid if they should open a door for a woman for fear of being bashed for doing so. In a situation where you have more than 1 person, just like in a corporate or government structure, there has to be one dominate party.

The domainate party in a relationship does not get that position by having a coup or being rude. They get that role by showing respect and consideration for their mate. They get it by showing their mate that they share the same goals and concerns and will work towards taking care of them.

Sit down with one another and discuss the money in a sane way - find out where all the investments are - make sure all the paperwork is in order and both parties are on the same sheet of music. But for more than 51% of the time, one party needs to be respected enough to maintain the dominate role in the's human nature and to try to fight it is just going to cause grief.

In the past 100 years women have made great strides in equality but wouldn't it be nice to have equality and a better relationship with your guy? Certainly there must be a way of making it a win/win situation for both genders.

If you think I'm off base, why are there comparisons with studies from today v. 50 years ago that show couples then were happier, had sexual relations more often - and better ones, and had less arguing.

I suppose it comes down to a persons individual needs / wants / desires -- do they prefer to be in control of a relationship or happier in one?


Saturday, August 26, 2006

2 Wheel Passport

After 18 months of planning, the series, 2 Wheel Passport, is finally on the fast track. There is so much I wish I could say in this forum to promote it, but those that are in the loop on the series are just giddy about it.

This concept, in this fashion, has not been done. And for the entertainment industry, it's so challenging to come up with a truly unique spin for a program.

Some amazing people are on board with this series and that will really allow it to sparkle further: They include:

  • A motorcycle wild child

  • A DJ

  • Someone from Nokia

  • An editor from a motorcycle magazine

  • Someone from NAPA Auto Parts

  • Someone who does product reviews

  • The owner of a tragically hip hair salon

I'm not disclosing here what the role is of these people, but suffice to say that it will be high profile. We are looking for approximately 5 more unique personalities to be involved with this adventure and I anticipate that within the next couple weeks, we will have the final 5 confirmed.


Friday, August 25, 2006


Somebody once told me that they thought I was materialistic but after knowing me for a while realised that I wasn't -- I was merely overly fond of my things "because things had never hurt me, like people had."

I think that is the truest statement I have ever heard in relation to me.

When people say I am hard to understand, I've always felt I was very easy to understand -- I am reactionary.

If I am treated well, I respond favorably but if I am treated poorly the defenses go up and I keep my distance. In some cases, I've been known to simply disappear from someone's life. This isn't to hurt them as it is to protect myself emotionally.

Bike Bitch Swap

Oh joy - as if making the mistake to get married wasn't bad enough, then you have reality TV documenting the exchange of wives and now we sink to the level of swapping biker bitches -- I wonder how much will end up on the editing room floor?!


ABC TV's Wife Swap, where casting for the show’s new prime time fall season is now under way, and we'd love to cast a family of motor enthusiasts!

I’m hoping you will consider referring any families that you know love motorcycles! Ideal candidates would be a mom and dad who ride. Referrals for families are extremely welcome. The show offers a $1,000 finder’s fee to individuals recommending families who are then featured on the show.

All families featured on the show receive a $20,000 honorarium. Potential families can live anywhere in the continental United States and should consist of two parents who have at least one child, age 6 or older, living at home.

The premise of Wife Swap is that one parent from each household swaps places for a week to experience how another family lives. It is an incredible family opportunity to both learn and teach different family values. The New York Post says, "It should be called ‘Life Swap’ because it's not just the wives who learn something here. It's the families."

Rachelle Mendez
Casting Producer
ABC's "Wife Swap"
440 9th Ave.,
11th Floor
New York, NY 10001
(212) 404-2442
More information is available at:

You Are 33% Scary

You scare men off ocassionaly, but only very weak men.
You're a normal woman. You're not perfect, but you're pretty darn close.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


I'm not overly emotional but tonite it hit me that Teri will be leaving. It's like she said, "It's hard for girls like us to make friends with other females." She's right. I don't have many female acquaintances and she's really my only "girl" friend. There's not a lot of girls that are ballsy and ride a Harley. Johnny B & Magoo kid her about having a bigger dick than they do - if you've seen her ride her bike, you'd understand that comment.

I suppose it's that a lot of things in terms of relationships are coming to an end now in my life and while you are hesitant about the future because it's unknown, you also know you have to work through it otherwise you'll be stagnant in your life.

At the end of the day, all you have is yourself so you better like the company you see in the mirror.

Merry Christmas ACLU

Are you like so many others that are tired of the Christian religion getting trampled on? Tired of being told that we don't have Christmas Trees but Holiday Trees? Well brighten up and have some fun this holiday season -- Send the ACLU a CHRISTMAS CARD!

As the ACLU is working so very hard to get rid of the CHRISTMAS part of this holiday, we should all send them a nice, CHRISTIAN, card to brighten up their dark, sad, little world. Make sure it says "Merry Christmas" on it.

Here's the Address, just don't be rude or crude and put it in a plain envelope so they can't tell it's a Christmas Card.

125 Broad Street
19th Floor
New York, NY 10004

Two tons of Christmas cards would freeze their operations because they wouldn't know if any were regular mail containing contributions.. So spend 39 cents and tell the ACLU to leave Christmas alone.

And pass this on to your email lists. We really want to communicate with the ACLU! They really DESERVE us!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Ready To Pull The Trigger - New Moon - Rain

You know your day is off to a festive start when one of the first calls is from a particular Sheriff's Office in a particular county where a particular event was held. Seems they are, in their words, "ready to pull the trigger" in terms of collecting what is owed to everyone.

Lucky me, I was asked to assist in providing them with a list of everyone I knew of that needed to be paid. It's been an adventuresome day to say the least to hear that 90% of my contact list for this event was still owed monies. I didn't ask who was owed what, just if they wanted to be on the list - everyone is a resounding YES. All I can say is kharma is a bitch.

New Moon on Wednesday -- you know what that means all your prosperity hounds!

I was gifted with some Lancome today -- yea!!


Teri found out that the people buying her house had prayed about what house they would find and evidentally a white fireplace was in a dream. Lucky her, she has a white fireplace!


I'm gazing out my window, hoping, please, we get a lovely torrential downpour. I love the rain. Speaking of rain, I am of the belief that next to "love" the "rain" is used in more songs than any other topic. Case in point:
  • More than 50 songs have the title "Rain"
  • Since 1960, more than 5,000 albums contain a song with the word "Rain" used in the title
  • Here Comes The Rain - The Cult
  • Rain - Tones On Tail
  • All I Needed Was The Rain - Elvis Presley
  • After The Rain Has Fallen - Sting
  • Another Rainy Night - Queensryche
  • Ashes, The Rain and I - The James Gang
  • Bad Rain - Allman Brothers Band
  • Black Summer Rain - Clapton
  • Blame It On The Rain - Millie Vanilli?!
  • Cold Rain & Snow - Grateful Dead
  • Crying in the Rain - various artists
  • Here Comes The Rain Again - Eurythmics
  • Fire & Rain - James Taylor
  • Fool in the Rain - Led Zepplin
  • A Hard Rain's A Gonna Fall - various artists
  • I Wish It Would Rain Down - Phil Collins
  • It's Raining Men - Ru Paul

I could go on -- but you get the idea!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Cravings - Hico - Robbie - Depeche

If I could have been born independently wealthy without the need to work a day in my life, I wonder how things would have turned out. There are so many things I crave to do, see and experience. I can honestly say that there has only been one definite moment in my life when I was content to be who I was, who I was with and where I was...and it was sitting in an outdoor cafe in New York City in September 1995.

Since then, life has gotten into the way. Best laid plans and assurances were forgotten or ignored.

So then one day you find yourself almost back to where you began with your wanderlust and desire to just go, go, go. Never slow down - never look back.

Is the glass half-empty or half-full? I prefer to view it as half-full and soon brimming over. It's time for new adventures and new people to enhance the group being kept on board for the ride.


Yesterday we ventured out for Teri's going away ride. We were en route to Hico on route 51 which lots of twists & turns and as we slowed down for the sign that warned us of a curve ahead to be taken at 20mph, we came upon this girl sitting in the sandy, rocky drainage ditch next to the road.

It was quite evident that the bike did not make that 20mph curve. The entire time we were there, she never said a word. We don't know if she took it too fast or overestimated her abilities or was just trying to keep up with the boys. She had been riding a small, lightweight crotch rocket and upon impact managed to break off both brakes.

One thing that was evident to me was that upon impact, that bike stopped on a dime. There were no indentations of it rolling across the sandy/rocky area and with soil like that, it's like throwing a toy into a sandbox.

We finally got to the Koffee Kup and a number of other bikers had the same idea in mind. I had the blackened fish - no offense but the KK has yet to master the concept.

We tried to make our way back along route 927 that looked even more twisty/curvy than 51 but for some reason after stopping for waters we ended up taking another route. At one point we had to rest for a few minutes underneath an overpass on Highway 67 -- it was becoming just miserably hot. And as we were there, we watched in shocked amazement as 2 different cars tried on 2 different ocassions to drive in the left lane of a 2-lane highway.

Some people really need to go back to driving school to master the concept that a yellow line signifies 2-way traffic whereas a white line means 1-way.

We finally made it to Teri's house where we had to stop in to cool off. I actually packed ice down my sports bra - a lot of it. When we finally headed home, I was surprised to see that the front of my shirt showed no moisture at all -- that's how hot and dry the air was. My bra is filled with cold, melting water yet the shirt doesn't even have a chance to show a wet spot! I got home and submerged myself in a cold bath.

I am so ready for autumn!


Robbie Williams new album, Rudebox will be out on October 23 -- yeah!!


Depeche Mode have finally compiled a greatest hits album – The Best Of Volume 1. Out on November 13, it covers their career from 1981 to the present day and includes Personal Jesus, Just Can’t Get Enough and Everything Counts -- hell yeah!!!

Saturday, August 19, 2006


I've run out of things to tidy up - typically I block off my Friday afternoon for KZPS Bringing in the Weekend but since Magoo was so tragically let go yesterday morning with no notice, I boycotted the event. I've already heard from those that did attend that it was lame - pathetic - left so much to be desired. If you are interested in signing the Magoo petition to let KZPS know how bad they jacked this up and how much Magoo is appreciated for everything he's done to promote the motorcycling community in Dallas/Ft Worth, here is the link:

I have noticed that I am receiving traffic to this blog for people doing searches on Magoo. So what is the reality of what happened? I don't know -- could it be politics? Could it be a disgruntled person in station management that has never gotten over the fact that Magoo replaced him on the afternoon drive spot while in Detroit a few years ago? Could it be that this same person is in tight with someone who is on later in the schedule that has made it known that he wants afternoon drive back? And more importantly, all these lovely businesses that have paid handsomely to have Bike Night or Bringing in the Weekend with Magoo are now rather shafted it would seem.

Entertainment is a very transient world - you don't get into it for job security. It affords you a lot of freedom and interesting opportunities and some days are better than others. I really try to see both sides but I must say that the Magoo situation from a financial standpoint was not handled properly. You just don't let politics and egos get in the way of a functioning / working business model.

One of the guys from the station phoned me last night and was not pleased. He said that Magoo was the best DJ he has ever worked with in his almost 20 years in radio. He's always available for meetings with clients, works the crowd and is an all around great person.

Everything happens for a reason -- Magoo has been through plenty in recent months so something good should be on the horizon. He's already receiving job offers from places all over; however, he is really hoping to be able to stay in Dallas because he's grown so fond of it and the people he's met.

Magoo, Johnny B, Amy and myself went up to Coach Joe Avezzano's Hat Tricks in Lewisville for his car/bike show. It's a nice place and everyone had a good time. Coach Joe stopped by our table to say hello and thanks for helping him and his son/business partner Tony promote the event. They also own Suede on Lower Greenville and are good people.

I saw Orlando from DuSold DeSigns and was pleased to see the blue bike had made yet another appearance. That bike rocks so hard.

Tomorrow the extended entourage is off to Hico - the land of the last vestages of the KKK for an early lunch at the Koffee Kup Kafe (I kid you not -- that's the name of it!). They have fantastic pie and do a vicious meringue. It's our last outing with Teri before she has to load her bike up onto the moving truck next week as she leaves us due to Nokia transfering her to White Plains, NY.

After that we shall stop by Mr. Troll's house for his BBQ picnic with brisket, blueberry cobbler and libations. Anything blueberry and I'm there! I should imagine by the time we get in tomorrow evening we shall be well roasted ourselves!

Shopping Spree 2006

Friday, August 18, 2006


Magoo, afternoon drive DJ on KZPS, was let go this morning even though his contract wasn't up for renewal and his numbers were up. As you know, he has been a major force to promote motorcycle awareness and acceptance to all KZPS listeners in the DFW area.

He has made Thursday "Bike Night" and Friday "Bringing in the Weekend" events that must be attended. He has welcomed and accepted everyone - blue collar workers or CEO's - it doesn't matter to him because he just likes to be involved with the bikes.

While we don't expect KZPS to bring him back, please take time to sign the following petition to let Magoo know how much we appreciate everything he has done to promote and enhance the motorcycling community in this area.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Crystal Meth

Sometimes I make a lousy biker girl.

In some small microcosims of the biking world, methamphetamine has become quite rampant. So when someone, like me, is all amped up (not a good thing) about "Crystal Meth this Saturday night!" people for some reason immediately think I'm referring to getting wasted.


In my shallow, vain world, "Crystal Meth" refers to the band "The Crystal Method" and they so totally rock. Up until Saturday evening I had never seen them live...the gig rocked, rocked rocked...did I say it rocked? It totally rocked.

I get really bored, really fast with the same old "biker music" you hear everywhere. How many times can someone hear Steppenwolf, Allman Brothers or Lynyrd Skynyrd?

It's a new world, a new generation and our voices must be heard. We may ride a Harley and not a crotch rocket but we still love the Eurotrash - house - industrial - goth music as much as the party scene non-bikers.

I've just got to get speakers on my bike so I can start subjecting people to my world instead of that lame ass tired music they play all the time on their cruisers!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

A Clash of Civilizations

I was blown away by this video - Here is a powerful and amazing statement on Al Jazeera television. I dont know how long this link will last. This is an absolute must see.

The woman is Wafa Sultan, an Arab-American psychologist from Los Angeles.

Make sure to double click on the video to enlarge the picture so as to be able to read the English translation.


Saturday, August 12, 2006

Let Me Entertain You

One of my compadres from the days with the bands calls me to say, "Check your email, I sent you a link." I reply, "I'm not watching any of your Banged Up or Consumption Junction crap." He replies, "No, no this - it's like watching a train wreck but to a Robbie Williams song and I know how much you love Robbie's music."

Seriously...I may be hardcore into Sisters of Mercy, Concrete Blonde and Stevie Ray Vaughn, but I think that 2003's Escapeology album by Robbie Williams is one of the best all around releases to come out in years.

So as he's on the phone, I watch this video. It's wrong. On just so many levels it's wrong. My initial reaction was, "Is he whacking off?!" We don't think so. The other option is that he is a sissy boy with an online Dom that was ordered to do something humiliating. It's the only possible thing that makes sense!

So here is the bastardized version and beneath is the authentic, genuine version from Robbie himself.

Friday, August 11, 2006

A Biker Fairy Tale

This legend of lore is based upon phone calls I have received over the past 3 hours...

Once upon a time, some angels from hell decided to visit a large gathering of brothers that was being held near a large chunk of rock that featured the faces of 4 U.S. presidents. While at this gathering the angels ran into some outlaws. Now depending upon who passes the story along, either the angels or the outlaws raided the others' box of goodies.

While the winds grew fierce and the hail rained down the angels and outlaws battled it out. When the storm was over an outlaw was literally a rider on the storm while the angel was called to answer for the deed.

The angels had enough and called in others while the outlaws leader began telling all to hide their colorful wear. The bystanders with their booths of tokens and trinkets became fearful as the heavens rained down and started packing up their toys to go away and hopefully come back another day.

Who will win the battle of the angels and outlaws?

Only time will tell.....


Many biker gang members armed legally
Aug 11, 2006 05:37 PM CDT

It would have been an unusual traffic stop any other time of year in South Dakota, but a law officer says stopping several armed members of the Outlaws biker gang last night near Plankinton was not peculiar because of the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally.

State Patrol Captain Kevin Joffer says many motorcycle gang members carrying concealed handguns are stopped daily during the rally. He says nearly all of them have permits to carry concealed handguns.

Statistics so far during rally week seem to bear that out. Although several hundred thousand bikers have converged on Sturgis, just eleven people have been arrested for concealed weapons violations.

Law enforcement agencies are paying special attention to biker gangs since a shootout between Hells Angels and Outlaws on Tuesday in Custer State Park.

(By AP Writer Joe Kafka)

Flying From Zurich & Bike Stuff

Yesterday, much like everyone else, I awoke to the news of all hell breaking loose in London due to the terrorist threats. I knew my friend Teri, who works for Nokia, was on her way back from Helsinki and she had spoken of possibly going through London this time as there are no non-stop Helsinki - Dallas flights.

I left her a voice mail to let her know to call me if she was indeed stuck in that fiasco and anything needed to be done with her dog. She phoned later in the day and said she had just gotten through customs at DFW (Dallas/Ft Worth International Airport) and she was glad she didn't know what was going on.

She said everything was fine when she left Helsinki and flew to Zurich but once in Zurich she said the vibes were strong and the fact that they were telling everyone to take their toothpaste, hair gel, etc. out of their bags and toss them away. No information was given out in Zurich.

When she finally got to DFW, she said the international terminal was flooded with news crews and she asked one of the camera guys, "Is someone famous arriving?" The guy kind of laughed and said no. Once she got into the car and heard the news, then she found out what all had been going on.


Yesterday I was riding down the Dallas North Tollway thinking to myself, "You know it's bad when your concern is not going down on the bike but going down under this blistering sun and on this hot pavement and having to lie there awhile!"


The other day I had a starteling experience. As I was coming from westbound George Bush (yes, that's an actual tollway here in very Republican Dallas) onto southbound North Dallas Tollway, a few yards after the ramp ends, to your right are some concrete barricades blocking off the right lane so that some construction work can happen.

Ahead of me I saw about 3 cars and a tan coupe that was trying to merge into the traffic due to the lane blocked off. I was approaching from behind and as my exit to Frankford is literally less than 1/4 mile from the George Bush, I also needed to be in that lane.

I have no idea what caused it but the cars braked suddenly and the car ahead of me and the tan car trying to merge almost took one another out.

It's weird how your mind thinks and analyzes a situation and makes a decision literally within a fraction of a second. I knew there was absolutely no way I could have stopped my bike and been ok, I know I didn't touch my brakes nor did I throttle her more. I think Superstition and I went into motocross mode because I know we leaned about as far as we could to the left for about 1 second and immediately came upright.

We coasted past the cars that were still braking and got off at our exit. When I got home, I just sat in my garage for a few minutes on the bike. It's not often that I get rattled, but I was literally stunned by how that scene had played out.


KZPS Bike Night was really good last night. It was held at Public House down on Lower Greenville and we took cupcakes because it is Hynson's birthday today and neither Johnny B nor I will be at Bringing in the Weekend. It's being held in FW at the Icehouse and I have meetings into the afternoon at Fair Park and he has to go golfing at 4pm today.

I asked him, "What the hell is compelling you to go golfing at 4pm on a 104 degree day, and correct me if I'm mistaken, but isn't late afternoon the hottest part of the day?" Magoo is nodding his head and Johnny B replies, "Aren't there insane things you have done to make 2 bosses and 2 of your biggest clients happy?" So I replied, "At the third hole, you better start experiencing a case of the vapors and excuse yourself! I can't afford for you to get heat stroke." Magoo nods his head again!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

What Happened to Compassion?

There is an old saying when it comes to laws:

"You either follow the letter of the law or the spirit of the law."

Much to my regret, some in the US feel that euthanasia is immoral and make a fuss when it's good play for the media. But I have a lot of issues with the fact that our pets are treated more compassionalty than our people.

If someone has no hope for recovery and the pain is either so intense or their days are numbered, they should and deserve to have the right to make their own decision if enough is enough.

This issue becomes even more challenging for those that are dealing with loved ones that don't have all their senses about them. What a horrible situation to be in to watch someone you care about slowly drift away.

Who are we benefiting by allowing this to happen?

Some say that only God has the right to take a life. Well what do you do when man has made it so that a human being can last for years in a non-functioning manner? There are machines and medications to handle almost anything just for the sake of keeping a human ticking a little longer. If it HAD been left up to God, in most cases these people would no longer be suffering and neither would their loved ones.

And now we have James & Mary Roberson. Married for 60 years, lived in the same pretty little house for 50 years and raised 2 kids there. He fought for our country in World War II. He spent his career as a telephone repairman. No one recalls him raising his voice. Everyone remembers him as a compassionate, happy man who went out of his way to help people.

When Mary had a series of strokes that left her unable to care for herself, James stepped in and handled everything because she didn't react favorably in a nursing home. Bathing her, feeding her, loving her. And then he was hit with brain & lung cancer and only given a few weeks to live.

So this proud, elderly man is left with an agonizing decision - his wife hated the nursing home but he was dying. So what option was there? He chose to end their lives. I can only imagine how agonzing it must have been for him. And of course, fate steps in and prevents him from killing himself by having the gun jam.

James Roberson died 23 days after his wife. Before dying he made one final request to the family's priest according to his daughter. "Dad said, 'Can I be forgiven?'" Roberson said. "And Father Poole said, 'James, all you have to do is ask and he said, 'Oh, I have done that. I certainly asked.' And he said, 'You are forgiven.'"

And now the Dallas-Ft Worth National Cemetary refuses to allow him his military funeral due to the "Timothy McVeigh Law" that prevents persons from having a military funeral that are charged with a crime that could result in life imprisonment or the death penalty. And this is where we have the "letter of the law v. spirit of the law".

James Roberson didn't kill hundreds of his fellow citizens. He was an elderly man that knew he was soon going to die and was trying to not be a burden to anyone. He was trying to do the best in an impossible situation.

Take the time to let U.S. Representative Pete Sessions know that this man deserves his military funeral if you are in the Dallas area.

For those outside the area, please contact your local US Representative to let them know your thoughts:

All stores regarding this situation can be found here.
A "Linch" Ride to Neiman-Marcus

It's bad enough that Texans have to deal with so many misconceptions such as the following which are true statements I've actually heard out of the mouths of others:
  • "It gets cold in Texas?!"
  • "You really get ice storms?"
  • From one girl visiting from Los Angeles, "I can't believe you have paved roads here!"
  • "Are you sure you're from Dallas? You sure don't sound like it."
  • "Why isn't anyone wearing a cowboy hat? I thought all Texans wore cowboy hats."
  • "Where can I see some tumbleweeds?"
And then when you hope that everything is getting back on track, you have a local HOG chapter (Harley Owners Group) that makes a big to-do about lynchings on their guest book due to the following posting:


But on the lighter side, one incident that always brings a smile to my face happened at the Federal Building in downtown Dallas a couple years ago. I was waiting in the passport line where the older gentleman was explaining to the woman applying that she needed 2 forms of government issue ID.

She replied with, "Oh I have that! Here's my drivers license and my Neiman-Marcus card."

Now even I was stunned by that comment, but she had pulled out both forms of plastic to present for her US passport application to be approved.

It took the gentleman about 3 minutes of conversing with her and trying to explain that a Neiman-Marcus card may be powerful in the hands of some, but Uncle Sam simply won't accept it as a form of "government issued identification."

When I finally got my chance at the window, I was still biting my lips to keep from laughing out loud!

If I may parphrase from Cindy Adams' New York Post column daily sign off...

"Only in Dallas kids, only in Dallas."

Monday, August 07, 2006

How To Piss Off Your Constituants

Maybe they were just saying "thank you" from the heart of their bottom, but Gov. Rick Perry's campaign recently found itself the butt of controversy because of the way staffers accounted for tiny contributions.

Some activists unhappy with the Republican governor's tax plan to finance public schools have encouraged like-minded Texans to offer their 2 cents to Perry. Literally.

The plan was to send campaign checks for 2 cents in the belief that it would cost more money to process them than the checks would be worth.

The campaign did process them, stamping ASS-06 before depositing them in the bank. That notation, when seen on the canceled checks, chapped some of the contributors' hides.

Perry's folks said the letters stood for "A Small Supporter" and suggested that anyone who was offended simply turn the other cheek.

Friday, August 04, 2006

FREE 6 Flags Tickets

So I have these 4 tickets to Six Flags over Texas that need to be used before August 27. Tomorrow it will be 103 degrees here. Six Flags has a sick fascination with fresh, black asphalt. It's a 103 degrees here. People in line next to you are sweaty. Drinks are overpriced. It's 103 degrees here.

As much as I love love love the Titan (I love a good roller coaster!), I just cannot bring myself to drag me and The Illustrious One to suffer in this heat. While I have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that The Illustrious One is a certifiable masochist, I, however, am not. I'll discuss the masochist element on another post.

So I thought of posting the tix for sale but then decided to offer them for free in exchange for the best "reason" -- here is my post on Craigs List:

You read that right! I have 4 FREE 6 Flags Tickets that must be used before this August 27. I had to put $1 in the price field otherwise it wouldn't let me list this ad -- but there is no money involved. It's all FREE! The only thing I ask in exchange is for you to give me the best "reason" as to why you NEED these tickets to go to 6 Flags while we are in the midst of this hot-ass summer!! I like funny / witty "reasons" - I do NOT NOT NOT go for sob stories. Tales of woe about widows, orphans, dogs running away, etc., is not what I am interested in. Entertain me - and 6 Flags will entertain you. Why am I giving them away? Because it's illegal to sell them! They are COMPLIMENTARY tickets won through KZPS 92.5 radio. The only other requirement is that you have to come to my part of town to pick them up (Frankford / N. Dallas Tollway). Email me your "reason" along your contact name/number.

Here are some of the more unique replies I have received so far:

Because studies have shown that the rush from rollercoasters causes release of adrenaline and endorphins which will have an aphrodisiactic effect the human body. Please… I NEED this to happen to my wife… I figure if I get her on enough roller coasters I won’t be ABLE to keep her clothes on when we get home.”



I have been trying to get my husband to lose weight. Forget Celebrity Fit Club and The Biggest Loser, but welcome the 6 Flags Plan. What a way to jump start his weight reduction! In this "hot-ass summer" weather he is sure to sweat off a few pounds. Then, he can eat whatever he wants because the heat will hit him like the anvil to Wylie Coyote. Between that and the Titan he will surely toss the cookies. Besides, who wants to be in the malls on tax-free weekend.


Why I need Six Flags tickets...
By Liz Newsome

All summer, I have been overly-hydrated and spoiled by high-powered air conditioners - protecting me from this ridiculous triple-digit heat. I believe the only way to remedy this is to spend a day out in the blistering, relentless Texas sun in the middle of August. I mean, what better way to zap all of your energy, sweat off 10 pounds waiting in lines for hours, allow my irritations to grow and eventually erupt in an explosive display, and to top it all off, come back all red and crispy from the damaging UV rays! Skin cancer - here I come!

Of course - misery loves company, so I would need tickets to drag my unwilling friends with me! They deserve to be just as hot, sweaty, tired, and thirsty as I do. Not only that, but if I went by myself, no one would be around to hear the mocking comments about all of the "unique" people who frequent amusement parks. A day there is usually an exercise in self-confidence boosting in itself. The people-watching alone is things legends are made of!

I am a Florida gal - so I have been to Busch Gardens, Disney World, and Universal - along with many lesser theme parks in the Southeast. Only moving here last year at this time, I am yet to visit any Texas-based amusement centers, which is vital to my thrill-ride, roller coaster education.

Also, I have a compulsive need to get things for free. Many events and activities I will only attend if I can find some way to attend at no charge to myself. So many things these days are overpriced that it really isn't worth my less-than-hard-earned-dollars to buy the admission myself. It is a bit of an obsession I have developed, maybe even an addiction. And you seem like the kind of person who would like to feed an addict's habit.

Thank you for your consideration and for allowing me to cleverly beg for the tickets,
I always enjoy a challenge and a pointless email during work!

Ok, I am going to make this short and sweet. I hate the heat, I hate
lines, and more importantly, I hate people in general. My girlfriend has
been bugging me ALL summer to go to six flags, I keep telling her that
things are not fun when you MISERABLE. I do not want to go and suffer all
day, I have had a great summer, a good job, a lot of fun, and this is the
last thing I thought I needed. But as I was thinking, I need one solid day
of me being in discomfort. If I got these tickets, my girlfriend would be
very happy and I would be looking for excuses to not go, but of course she
always wins and I would go anyways.

If you give me these tickets, I will appreciate my life so much more and
will realize that I have been taking air-conditioning, cheap sodas and food,
and no waiting in line for bathrooms, all for granite. Please give me these
tickets. Do it to make me a better person, not for the adrenaline rushes or
the thrill of mickey mouse. Please, I need this to put me back in shape.

I deserve these tickets because I live in the ANT INFESTED Gates de Provence Luxury Apartments located at the intersection of Marsh & Frankford. There is nothing LUXURIOUS about those apt unless you like the PHAROAH ANTS to eat your undergarments and end up in a locked fireproof safe. Please provide me and my family a day away from the ANTS!!!

In this 700 degree Texas heat, I LOVE to have sweat dripping from every pore of my body. I love to smell the stinky odor coming from everyone walking past and squishing up next to me in the long, long lines waiting for to ride the Titan. I love having my husband tell me that he’s too chicken to ride the Superman Tower of Power with me….so I need the tickets because he told me that the next time we go to Six Flags, he will ride it with me. I am dying to see the fear in his eyes when I remind him of that promise he made J I need these tickets because I need a thrill – I need to see the white behind my eyelids as I black out on the loops of the Shockwave. I need to feel my stomach fly up to the backs of my teeth when I ride the Cliffhanger (Mock Force or something now). I need need, NEED to be one of those crazy Texans who choose to spend the entire day outside in the dead of summer when I could choose to walk next door to Hurricaine Harbor.

Hi my name is Jessica and I'm going to give you reasons why i want and need these tickets. I'm going to be quite honest with you. I flat out want them so me and my friends can get out and away from our kids for a day! I know its hot as hell but it is all worth it.And with the way me and some of my girlfriends are gaining weight we might not be able to get on some of these rides much (If you were to ever see me you would understand what I'm talking about.) Oh and its summer time so you know all types of hot guys are out and about. I think its ironic that every time i do go there is always a hot guy selling dip n dots! lol I'm not much to look at but i sure like doing some What it all comes down to is i really want these tickets and i might not have made you laugh like somebody else has so if i didn't entertain you how about you ask me to do something else. I don't really care what it is. I think at this point i would be willing to do something stupid or humiliating for them. lol Just let me know. And may the best person win.


Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Dog goes berserk, destroys Elvis' teddy bear

First - here is the story and below will be my comments on this story:

LONDON, England (AP) -- A guard dog has ripped apart a collection of rare teddy bears, including one once owned by Elvis Presley, during a rampage at a children's museum.
"He just went berserk," said Daniel Medley, general manager of the Wookey Hole Caves near Wells, England, where hundreds of bears were chewed up Tuesday night by the 6-year-old Doberman pinscher named Barney.

Barney ripped the head off a brown stuffed bear once owned by the young Presley during the attack, leaving fluffy stuffing and bits of bears' limbs and heads on the museum floor. The bear, named Mabel, was made in 1909 by the German manufacturer Steiff.

The collection, valued at more than $900,000, included a red bear made by Farnell in 1910 and a Bobby Bruin made by Merrythought in 1936.

The bear with Elvis connections was owned by English aristocrat Benjamin Slade, who bought it at an Elvis memorabilia auction in Memphis, Tenn., and had loaned it to the museum.
"I've spoken to the bear's owner and he is not very pleased at all," Medley said.

A security guard at the museum, Greg West, said he spent several minutes chasing Barney before wrestling the dog to the ground.


I don't believe this story. Oh, I believe the teddy bears were assaulted, but a Dobie does not just go "berserk" and start shredding things helter-skelter.

My first 2 Dobies, Casey's Thunderstorm (a U.S. and Canadian champion who is also featured and photographed in the definitive book on Dobermans, The New Doberman Pinscher) and Sir Canyon Dog von Doberman both viewed toys as odd things. A pull rope they could deal with. A fresh can of new tennis balls being opened sent them into sensory overload - and then they would promptly chew the new ball in half in less than 2 minutes. Both dogs came into my life when they were full grown and matured.

And then there's Harley Amadeus who is my inspiration for all things "Banned Breed". Harley was raised with squeaky toys and play things from his earliest puppyhood. He loves his toys - and it's hard to take a Doberman seriously when he has his natural floppy ears and is standing there looking at you with a squeaky toy in his mouth.

Dobermans, even those that are not attack trained, can be lethal when "their family" is provoked. A Dobie will literally die in an effort to protect their family -- stab them, shoot them, if they have an ounce of energy they will keep going after the attacker.

Further, Dobies have a unique way of attacking if left to their own devices. Whereas a German Shepard will chomp and hold, a Dobie will chomp and shred. In other words, you get a helluva lot more damage on an assailant with a Dobie at your side.

Now aside from this "vicious" image of a Dobie - what are they like the rest of the 99.9% of the time? They are couch potatos, they are very insecure, must have play time and they have no homing instinct. I will address these one by one:

Couch Potato: A person will drive themself batty if they try to break a Dobie of this couch potato gene. They truly see themselves as one of the people and don't understand they are dogs - as such, they see no reason why they shouldn't bask in the same comforts that their 2-legged roommates do.

The Illustrious One (who is forever of the mindset that dogs should stay off a sofa) was telling me how one day he watched secretly as Harley Amadeus stood to look at the sofa and then carefully removed each one of the seat cushions and then promptly got on the sofa and lay down. The Illustrious One was miffed that he got on the sofa, but for myself and others who see dogs as creatures that can do little wrong, we saw it as "Ohhhhh my God, how smart! How cute!"

Insecurity: Dobies are horrifically insecure. They hate being without their people, they can get very depressed and it is imperative that they feel loved and adored so they feel secure.

Play Time: Dobies love to play. They can be happy running at the dog park, helping you around the house or in the case of my Canyon, he loved to watch clouds or lie on his back and use his front paws to take the tennis ball out of his mouth, hold it above his snout, stare at it, and then loosen his paws so the ball would fall back into his mouth. Rinse. Repeat.

No Homing Instinct: Dobies are a man-made breed. While Herr Doberman created a beautiful, majestic canine, some elements were lost in the breeding process. One of these items is their homing instinct. If a Dobie gets out, they quickly loose their way. It's imperative that they have their tags on at all times.

One time, Stormy got out and I found him sitting on a street corner. When he saw my car, he stood up, stub wagging and happily got into the car. I took him to McDonald's for a McRib sandwich (he loved those and Egg McMuffins) and he was happy and felt secure.

So now that I've given a long and winding road insight into the workings of 3 distinctly different Dobermans, I can safely say, that the English Dobie did not just go nuts and destroy teddy bears. Something or someone provoked the situation. Maybe the museum had a new alarm system that had an annoying beeping sound. Personally, I think the night watchman should be looked at closely -- he probably just got bored and started a vicious chain reaction with the dog in tow.

For something a bit different but on the same topic -- now that you know that Dobies have no homing instinct and are insecure, if you ever see one out, please go with your vibes and if they are saying to stop and help the dog, please do so.

Last summer, I was driving down Ross Avenue towards downtown Dallas (not a stellar part of town). At a stop light, a female Dobie started to cross at the crosswalk, the light turned green and the cabbie next to me honked at the horn and drove forward to push the dog out of the way. I circled the block and pulled into a used car lot and luckily had some lunch leftovers with me. I managed to lure the dog to me and get her into the car - she had no tags on - and I took her to SPCA.

As compassionate as I am towards dogs, I do not stop and collect them. But knowing the general mindset people have about Dobies, I knew that I had to do something for her because the chances of anyone else doing so were slim.

Remember -- there are NO bad breeds. That's like saying that all members of one ethnic group are bad.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

2 Wheel Passport

Finally, after 18 months of visualizing and planning, 2 Wheel Passport is on the front burning and taking off. What, you ask, is a 2 Wheel Passport? Here is the press release:

Motorcycle travel television series, 2 Wheel Passport, begins production first quarter 2007.

Dallas, 31 July 2006: Dynamic motorcycle travel television series, 2 Wheel Passport, begins principal taping first quarter 2007. The series will cater to the vast majority of motorcycle owners who want to experience travel to new locales by showing them the “must see - must do” in each selected destination.

Each 1-hour episode is designed to give the viewer tips such as:

  • Looking for Adventure – Episode introduction; showcasing the reasons riders visit this destination.
  • Weapon of Choice – Which bike is most suited to the terrain
  • Not From Around These Parts – Special motorcycling protocol observed in the area
  • Touring Tip of the Week – Touring advice answering frequently asked questions

Each show will feature “guides” as they take the viewer on an adventure as they travel the mountains of Estes Park or the legendary “318 curves in 11 miles” Tail of the Dragon or the majestic west coast along the Pacific Coast Highway. The series has 13 initial destinations including such mandatory locations as Texas Big Bend, Blue Ridge Parkway and the Pacific Coast Highway.

About 2 Wheel Passport
The series, 2 Wheel Passport, was initially broadcast in Europe in 2003 and is now beginning U.S. production for broadcast to a global market. The new incarnation will take advantage of today’s rapidly changing technology by utilizing the web to provide downloadable GPS maps, restaurant and lodging reviews and making the series available for download to Ipods and computers.

Up to date series details are available at Banned Breed Productions (

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