Sex & Politics....

....goes together like Peanut Butter & Jelly!

I realized that all of this week's posts have had an underlying theme of sex to them - so I decided to wrap off the week with sex.

In today's Dallas Morning News, it was disclosed that Todd Malin, Democrat candidate for the Texas House, used to be a male escort by the name of Todd Sharpe. Malin has acknowledged his past indiscretions and says that he has found God and has tried to be proactive on the right path.

The only reason the DMN found out about this was because another gay Democrat gave them the heads up about it (no pun intended) -- supposedly this other gay guy was concerened that Malin's past would come out at some point and "hurt the party".

Many organizations have endorsed Malin whose and now in light of his past they are "reconsidering" their endorsements. Malin was also one of the top sales people within Mary Kay Cosmetics -- he's one of the few guys to earn that pink cadillac.

So Malin was a man-whore in a previous life -- it makes me wonder, does anyone deserve a second chance at a new life? And if they are worthy, who amongst us in the glass houses hold the right to determine enough penance has been paid before someone is allowed to move on?

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So on the topic of gay men -- after much hoopla over Brokeback Mountain, it seems that Midnight Cowboy is suddenly becoming tres chic yet again.

When MC was released, people weren't so much offended by a gay cowboy as they were by the drugs and homelessness as shown in the late 1960's New York City. MC was also rated X when it was released and holds the distinction of being the only X rated film to win the Best Film category at The Oscars.

Now, MC is rated a tame R as our times have changed.

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A question was posed to me about gays in Texas -- since we are all Corona chuggling, beer drinking, truck driving, bomb first ask questions later, mentality, how do gays fare in our state?

Pretty damn good actually.

Dallas has the Pink Mafia and some say that the gays here are better organized than in San Francisco. While SF is running around with protest signs, the gays here are setting up banks, credit unions, legal firms, etc...in other words, the kinds of companies that can get into a postion to work from within to institute change.

And for my .02 on gay marriage, I agree with Kinky Friedman: "Gays should be able to marry because they have just as much right to be miserable as the rest of us!"

Sex Sells

There is no escaping it -- sex sells and it's almost everywhere in advertising.

Molly Simms sports a $30 million diamond bikini - how practical is that? I mean granted, a girl wouldn't wear an ensemble like that to Club Med, but you would like to get some more action out of it than standing still before a camera crew.

But after reading about this bikini, I got to thinking about sex, advertising and adult entertainers....

I know people who are worried about their kids seeing porn magazines. I think if I had a kid, I would try to be as open as possible about stuff. Kids always want what is forbidden or off limits. If Junior is interested in Penthouse, show it to him. But, stress the fact that girls rarely look like that in the flesh and it's amazing what proper lighting, mineral oil & Photoshop can do to "enhance" an image.

I've been in a unique position to have worked in some capacity with 3 girls from the "adult oriented business" world....an interesting twist given the fact that I don't know how to pole dance! This exposure and how the girls lead their lives has given me a unique insight to that world.

The 3 girls include:

• A Penthouse Centerfold
• A Miss Nude World
• An Adult Film Star

The Centerfold has her "vice president of a major bank" mother handling all of her investments.

The Illustrious One came back to the hotel one night (we were obviously out of town) and was telling me the cutest story about the Centerfold. Seems they had gone to CompUSA that day for some parts because they were wiring her apartment so she could go live on web cam.

Centerfold said to Illustrious, "I just don't know why guys are staring at me!"

He replied, "Maybe because you are wearing a ball cap with PENTHOUSE on the front and MISS AUGUST on the back?"

I adore her!

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Miss Nude World attended one of those performing arts schools and her classmates looked down on her for using her dancing degree to pole dance rather than mastering Martha Graham moves.

She was a sweet girl but last I heard she and her boyfriend were in another state and supposedly screwed over one of the Motorcycle Clubs that don't take kindly to that.

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Adult Film Star is fantastic as a person. She was hanging out at my loft for a few days and had the idea to highlight her hair for her web cam fans. She finally got me to get on cam with her because she needed me to apply the highlights .... I did NOT want to be on her web cam. But, she's a major neat freak and cleans the hell out of everything so since she had been in "mighty maid mode" for like 3 days straight, I figured the least I could do was streak her hair.

The funny thing was that by the time we were finished, some guys in her chat room were asking for my info! Boys are funny!

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So back to the origin of this post -- is there anyway to revert to advertising campaigns that are sans sex appeal?

Probably not - case and point being this vintage Coca-Cola ad -- sexy girl, swimsuit, happily saying "Yes".

This is the fodder of little boy's dreams around the world so, no, I don't think we can escape sex in advertising.

Measuring Challenged Men

Ok, it's official. Men do not know jack about measurements.

Don't get me wrong; I adore men -- I work almost exclusively with men. And that being said, I think I am quasi-qualified to make a statement like, "Men do not know jack about measurements."

First off today, some guy was describing a girl to me and said she was my height - about 5'-4". I replied, "I'm 5'-9"....." And he responds, "Oh you can't be because she's not that tall." Woahkayfine -- I guess I am clueless as to how tall I am.

Then I was on a walk through of a 380 acre facility that will be hosting a motorcycle rally this summer. One of the guys ran out of gas and he literally coasted into the property. After we were finished with the walk through, we began rummaging about for a gas container or siphon hose.

A gas container was filled with some odd concoction so the decision was made to not use that for a gas run. Then all the guys went into full blown MacGyver mode looking for a siphon hose. What was found was a water hose with large connectors on the end.

The boys were just a pleased as punch and were holding up the hose like they were Dick Cheney making a good kill. I made the comment, "You need a knife to cut off the ends." Why would the ends need to be cut off. I replied, "Because it won't fit into the gas tank otherwise."

Well at that, 3 of the guys puffed up their chests and replied along the lines, "Oh I can get that to fit in my tank...etc etc etc."

So in order, they each went up to their bikes and tried to get the water hose to fit into their tanks -- guess what -- it wouldn't fit. And as luck would have it no one had a knife.

At this point, I was missing The Illustrious One because he ALWAYS has a knife and a bike tool kit that has a suction hose in it.

The guys revert back to MacGyver mode and go on a quest for something else. They found 30' of hose for a soda machine. At this point one of them asks, "Do you think this will work?" I replied, "If you aren't gay or a girl I doubt you could suck hard enough for that to work." Needless to say, the soda hose went back.

Then a stethescope was found -- like I said, true MacGyver mode -- and the ends were yanked off and after several palate cleansers of Chevron Super Unleaded, the go-go juice was flowing into the empty tank.

So why don't guys understand measurements?

Well, let's face it, they've run around for eons saying that >--------------- < is in fact 7"....!!

Sexy Biker Girl - Von Dutch -- Flying Motorcycles


This first image is just a bit of eye candy for the boys. Since most guys were on their best behavior for Valentines Day, it's only fair that they get a treat.

The bike was designed and built by Denny Garley who is pictured and he is also one of the featured builders in The Real Original Biker Build-Off.

The model is the lovely Abigail who is also a Hooter's girl.

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Von Dutch has got a loyal celebrity following -- here are some photos they sent to me today showing Lou Diamond Phillips and Jay Leno next to one of their bikes.

I love the forks on the bike pictured -- something about that twisting is just very kewl to me.

I first saw that style on the bike that Alex Mardikian designed for a rally in September 2004. Very kewl.

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Today word got out that a guy from the North Texas area has a patent on a flying motorcycle.

In a nutshell, the rotars on this bike fold so that they are parallel to the bike when it needs to be ridden. Otherwise they spread out for helicopter use. The bike has a top speed of about 70 mph and sells for around $25k.

This creation is called the "Butterfly Gyroplane".

You can check out a video of the bike in action at this WFAA link.

A History -- The Valentine Heart

Many people have wondered what the origin of the Valentine Heart is -- the graphic doesn't represent what the human heart looks like that closely.

One theory I read about years ago is that during a particularly amorous evening, an artist glanced at his lover in the candlelight....she was on the bed, on her hands and knees facing away from him. Something about the shape of her derrier from that angle prompted him to sketch the "heart".

Nations have gone to war over a woman so it stands to reason that a well shapped ass may have been the catalyst for millions of designs involving candy boxes and greeting cards.

Whenever this artist and his muse lived, we know it was before the 1500's because the early playing cards had "hearts" featured on them as one of the suits.

There are varying opinions as to the origin of Valentine's Day. Some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries.

Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it "From Your Valentine". Other aspects of the story say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Claudius then had Valentine jailed for defying him. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honour St. Valentine.

Gradually, February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers.

Preparing for Cupid


Valentine's Day is almost upon us and I personally feel sorry for the guys. Most of the time they try so hard to get it right and they get financially sucker punched into spending a bloody fortune on roses.

I would rather have a different type of arrangement that's more along the lines of what a bouquet should really be priced at -- and perhaps a nice candle or chocolates.

My favourite flowers are the exotic types or wonderfully scented such as
....bird of paradise
......red ginger
.........freesia....you get the idea.


As for the candles -- the best, in my opinion, is Votivo's "Night" fragrance...Mmmmm...very sensual.


Another excellent gift is the Sensuality Massage Oil from V'tae

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While on this topic, I was pleased to see that Jackie Collins will be in town this Tuesday at the Borders on Preston Road.

I must confess that I read far too much of Jackie and Harold Robbins when I was around 10. Not exactly the proper reading for a kid but as I was an only child that read very fast, I pretty much tore through everything available.

I will have to say that 2 positives resulted from my juvenile reading habits:

1. After reading those books, there was nothing left to the imagination so I didn't mess around as a teenager ~and~
2. The Illustrious One is very grateful on many evenings that I did read those books because I know how to do things that most girls would never try...

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A hearty congratulations to Shaun White for his gold medal in Snowboarding. It's a refreshing change to see a guy not afraid to show his emotions after a win like that.

I'm sad that Apolo Ohno didn't make the cut for the 1500m -- what an odd occurrence at the end of that qualifying race. It would have nice to see him defend his gold -- but he still has a few other races.

Full Moon - Ficken Chingers - Zirh - Fast Cars

It's officially a FULL MOON -- yea!!

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I invite everyone to visit Ficken Chingers who is my lovely tenant for this week. It's a fun site you will enjoy visiting!

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Also while you are visiting things along the right side navigation of this blog, be sure to check out Zirh -- it is the BEST stuff ever for guys. The Illustrious One looks really good to begin with and has a great complexion but when he uses Zirh -- he looks even better.

You can't really tell from his South Park cartoon character here - but this image is the closest thing I can do to posting his photo without his happy ass going totally ballistic on me.

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Stop by Grand Illusions and check out the kewl video clip on the Einstein sculpture -- very fun!

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So I went to the meeting of the Lone Star Corvette Club today -- every year out in West Texas there is some road rally where you pay $800 to drive your car 120 mph. The road is desolate out there, it's blocked off from normal traffic, etc. But my God -- that just seems like a long way to travel and a lot of money for something you can do a couple miles away on the George Bush Turnpike at 3:00am for free!!

Opinions Please

Much thanks to Grey Biker for his feedback on getting the code to work correctly!

Now I invite your feedback -- do you prefer the current background which looks like dark purple crushed velvet?

Or the screen capture of this green background?

Let me know please in the Comments section below -- Thanks!!

Trying to Modify this Template & Other Rants!!

In the immortal words of Vyvyan from The Young Ones -- "Bored, bored, bored" -- I want to change this template some!

I need some feedback please. I would like to change the overall design of this template some -- now, I know how to make changes because I often add or modify things along the right navigation.

When I make changes to this template, it will show up in Preview mode but NOT if I save it and take it live -- it just ends up with a all white background. YES, I have saved it as both Republish Entire Blog and Republish Index Only -- either way, the background image will not take. YES, I've also tried using a different background image.

A screen capture of the Preview is here on the left -- so why won't it save?! Suggestions - Ideas -- Comments?!

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Opening of the Olympics were very nice -- as good as Peter Gabriel & Pavarotti were, I must confess that I would have LOVED to have been in the stadium when Michael Schumacher's Ferrari Formula 1 did the controlled spin out -- My God the sound of that engine is pure audible orgasmic bliss.

The NASCAR fiends are clueless as to what true racing is all about.

I think it was fantastic that the U.S. & Italian athletes were so enthusiastic about everything -- they were having such a good time.

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Tonite I had such a surprise - the Charlie Rose show on PBS is usually as riveting as watching paint dry in my opinion. But tonite -- oh bliss -- he had Karl Lagerfeld on there. For those of you that read this blog often, you know I have a warped fixation with Lagerfeld.

I've read dozens of interviews with KL but haven't seen a true extended interview with him. My God he's fantastic! And do keep in mind that I have the attention span of a gnat -- I'm not ADD - it's just that most people cease to intrigue me for extended periods of time. Extended being more than 5 minutes on average.

So there I am absolutely riveted for an entire hour! He's got the best accent -- a German speaking English with a French accent. He's vivacious yet modest and the consummate voyeur to the world. He must have discussed 20 different topics just naturally seguing from one to another. I particularly loved his tale about putting on a few pounds and got a bit portly - decided one day he wanted a 28 inch waist to pull off the type of clothes he wanted to wear and his vanity won out over his taste buds.

Charlie was given him a bit of a good humoured hard time over his black gloves -- KL said it was because the world was a dirty place. Charlie said it was for fashion. Truthfully, I agree with KL and I must confess that I would love to wear gloves more often.

Aside from some black 3" slender heeled pointed boots, there is nothing fashion related I am more passionate about than gloves. My beloved, whom I shall dub The Illustrious One since he doesn't like his name being used in this forum, is well acquainted with my rants over proper gloves.

When did America get such a hard on for Isotoner gloves? Could they be any more ghastly? Everyone should understand how to size themselves for a proper glove -- it is as follows:

• Decide upon a length. My preference is "4 button" length as a minimum. 2 button length leaves a gap between the end of the glove and your sleeve if you raise your arm for anything -- I don't care for gaps.
• Size -- Gloves do NOT come in S, M or L. They have proper sizes and you can determine yours by getting out a measuring tape and measuring around the widest part of your hand which is where your knuckles are. I wear a size 7 which translates to 7" around my hand.
• Then you get to lining -- silk or cashmere -- nylon is not a lining for a glove because it is not a natural material and as such does not allow the skin nor the glove to breath. Personally, I prefer silk.
• Then you get to the leather -- I prefer a snug fitted thin leather such as lambskin..

So if you ever want to purchase me gloves you can't go wrong with a nice 4-button length black leather size 7 with silk lining.

It's Apolo Anton Ohno Time!!!

I adore this guy -- Such a great athlete, great sportsmanship and so pleasing on the eyes.

He stole the show in 2002 and now he's back for 06 Gold in Torino.

His skating schedule is:

• 1500m: Sun 2/12
• 1000m: Sat 2/18
• 500m: Sat 2/25
• Relay: Sat 2/25

NBC Olympics Info

Official Apolo website.

Good luck Apolo!!!

Mustafa Shag -- Riders -- I Won!!

Thank GOD for the London Sun online edition -- it's how I learn about all that is truly worthwhile in the world. In tonite's edition, they have an amusing story about a blow up sex toy doll that of course, is offensive to some people in the world.

Evidentally, this amusing shop Ann Summers has the Mustafa Shag Doll -- for those you a little dim -- sound it out -- "Must Hava Shag" -- who is outfitted with a 7" manhood.

BIG SUPRISE -- the Muslim's are all offended again. Seems that Mustafa is also a pseudonym for Muhammad -- not Ali as in the boxer -- but that religious guy they are hell bent on shoving down our collective throats.

What the fanatical Muslim types forget is that it is very challenging to overcome one's gag reflex -- it takes true talent and it is an art that few will ever master. Therefore, it stands to reason that they are fighting a loosing battle! HA HA!

Honestly -- why don't we all just live under rocks that way we won't offend anyone?! Aw to hell with it -- in homage to one of my most famous quotes -- "Pour a stiff drink, light a cigar and fuck everyone - decadence is back and resistance is useless!"

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Today I submitted the proposal rider for one esteemed well known motorcycle builder to attend a particular rally this summer. What, might this rider entail --

• Appearance Fee
• Must be located next to a misting tent
• (2) Yellow beach umbrellas
• (6) Large containers of purple daffodils
• (2) All access passes
• Close proximity to beer

Why would a hard core bike builder want yellow beach umbrellas and purple flowers?

Well if you had to hang out somewhere for 5 days, wouldn't you want your environment to be pleasant?

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Here's a little insight into my warped way of thinking -- I won a toothbrush today and I am THRILLED!!!!

Why, pray tell, you may ask?

Because it is THE toothbrush I've wanted for more than 6 months. It's $140. See, I have this weird thing about spending money so when my lovely Braun that pulsates at 2 minutes finally died after 10 years - I continued to use it. I just actually moved my arm to brush my teeth instead of having the brush do all the work for me. And I had to focus for 2 minutes morning and night instead of letting my mind wander aimlessly knowing subconsciously that the brush would pulsate at the 2 minute mark telling me I can go about my day -- or night.

So why didn't I just buy the toothbrush -- well see, that's where that damn Capricorn gene kicks in -- I could have just bought the replacement handle for about $20 according to a place on www.Shopzilla.com - but it wouldn't have all the kewl new features -- like being able to hold a charge for 2 weeks while still using it for a total of 4 minutes a day.

So on some boring evening, I was reviewing the Oral-B Triumph yet again contemplating, "Should I or shouldn't I" and saw that there was a sweepstakes to win 1 of 700. Today I received the following email:

"....You have won an Oral-B® Triumph Toothbrush. You will be receiving your Oral-B® Triumph Toothbrush in the mail 8-10 weeks after the end of the promotion. It will be mailed to the address you provided on the registration form. The promotion ends on January 31, 2006.Your win has been automatically approved. No further verification is required to claim your prize....."

Yes, I know I'm half a bubble off -- but remember, I am Texan and we're known for being a little odd.....and being well armed in preparation for the secession.

In closing, I leave you with a lovely quote from Kinky Friedman -- The Texas Jewboy running for governor -- "I'm here to stop the wussification of Texas!"

Meet Sergeant Leonard Sully

About a year ago while playing Monopoly online of all things, I met this good player -- Sgt. Leonard Sully.

Sully will be stationed for the next 12 months in northern Iraq - in Tal Afar which, to be precise, is about 30 miles west of Mosul and has seen a lot of violence between the Shiites & Sunnis.

Sully works on guns (small arms weapons on up to the big guns on tanks).

If you have time -- and I know you do -- send him an email -- introduce yourself and get to know a very cool guy -- you'll be glad you did!!

Shoes & Talking Clocks

A few days ago I read a post on someone's blog - for those you hooked up to Battle of the Blogs on Blog Explosion you'll know the blog I'm referring to -- it has all the pink shoes at the top of the template.

Whenever discussing shoes, I can't help but think of Hank Azaria's character in The Birdcage who can't wear shoes because they make him fall down.

Anyway, I found it interesting that females can have such radically different views on what makes a shoe attractive. The lady posted these shoes and described them as just as cute as can be and started her on her love affair of buying shoes.

Personally, I don't care for the pictured shoes at all -- I can't stand flats or rounded toes. They also look to me like the feet would spread -- kind of a fat foot look even if you don't have chubby feet.

At the other end of the spectrum there is my preference for black boots with a minimum 2.5" heel - ideally a 3".

To me these boots are just dead sexy. I have far too many pairs of black boots - but each one is different. I have to have a narrow toe and slender heels -- can't stand clunky heels.

And I do know why I love footwear like this -- When I was 13, I was in a freak accident once while riding one of my horses. Very long story short - my right leg ended up crushed. After the cast came off, I always felt like I was walking too heavy on my right leg. Ever since then I've preferred high heels because they make me more aware of how I walk.

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Now for something amusing:

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of friends late one night and led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

"What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup," replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.

"Watch," the drunk replied.

He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole...it's three-fifteen in the morning!"

Serious Sunday

Before I get to the heart of today's opinion, I would like to mention that on Super Bowl Sunday, there are higher than normal reports of domestic violence. If you or someone you know is at risk today, please invite them to a film, go to a restaurant, or just get together and watch something on TV -- just get them out of the line of fire for a few hours.

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As I've been out of pocket the past few days and have not watched TV or anything, I am intrigued by what I'm hearing about certain individuals of the Muslim faith wrecking havoc over cartoons printed in European papers....so I've been reading about the situation online. What it comes down to it appears to be:

What is more important -- Respect for Religious Beliefs or Freedom of Expression?

According to a CNN poll, more than 68% believe Freedom of Expression is more important and I believe this is an excellent example of why the Western countries don't see eye-to-eye with the middle eastern countries. Freedom of Expression is an American thing that is one of the foundations for this country's very existence - and luckily as monarchies fell or changed direction in Europe, the notion took hold there.

Certain individuals in the middle east are so wrapped up in their mantle of the teachings of the Koran and Mohammed, they are promoting the notion of whacking off heads if the likes of "us" dare make any type of witty retorts or try in a sense to inject some humor into a situation.

An Islamic holy guy in Copenhagen has said there will be no compromise because the caricatures have enraged them as their belief bars any depiction of Mohammed to prevent idolatry. They have also called on the government of Denmark to do something to appease the Muslim world and Denmark has replied that they will not interfere with the freedom of the press.

I am curious as to who offends Islam more -- a foreigner who draws a cartoon or a Muslim with an explosive belt who commits suicide in a wedding party?

The Pakistani parliament has stated the cartoons have "hurt the faith and feelings of Muslims all over the world."

Karma is vicious -- seems that the actions on 9/11 and attacks in London and Madrid might have "hurt the faith and feelings" of thousands of people of many different religions due to the maiming or death of their loved ones.

In closing, violence begets violence -- whether that is at home in a domestic violence situation or in another country where Islamic protestors are screaming for beheadings over cartoons -- no good can come from either situation.

My Idea Involves Midgets and Porn

Sometimes it hits you that you might have an unusual lifestyle -- or at least something a bit more off the beaten path than a standard middle-class, middle American lifestyle.

This afternoon I had to go about 30 miles north of Dallas for a meeting. Once I wrapped that, I was inundated with calls from a British guy dealing with a German guy about a deal affecting a US project and then segue into calls from a high level corporate girl who needs me to negotiate with a guy who is known for his "decorative arts" business as he happens to have connections to both motocycle clubs and a certain SWAT -- her motorcycle was stolen and she is trying to get it recovered. With the right reward money, this guy can get the bike "recovered" in mere hours.

Last night was made up of observing middle class American women dressed on the upper class tacky side while having dinner at a pub owned by a guy who also owns a swingers club; then observing the festivities as the female principal behind theft of said motorcycle made the mistake of stopping in with a boyfriend, then the listening to marathon calls as a husband was contacted regarding their wife's clandestine behavior; various points and counterpoints thrown back and forth about which underground gaming room the male bike thief was likely at and at that point, I was just waiting for Cheaters to swoop in.

So then during the quiet times I wonder -- what would life be like to be married with 2.5 kids, a dog, a house in suburbia and a minivan -- and this weird chill goes through me and I'm glad for my 32 degree Hpnotiq to lull back into the sanity I know and embrace.

It's not a lifestyle for anyone -- or even the majority -- but it's entertaining and it's mine.

Motorcycles Collide with the Beautiful People

I think this video should be required viewing for anyone that drives a car -- gives you a good idea of what those of us with motorcycles go through on a daily basis.

Click here to watch the video.

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There is a site called www.BeautifulPeople.net and a girl I know tried it out. I gave it a go, kept my comments real brief - like 2 lines that said, "I like adventure". Alas, poor I did not make the cut. I received some interesting emails from guys that just adored me but of the 14 guys that voted for me getting in to the site, probably 50 must have voted against me!

I still don't know if it's guys and/or girls that vote. I wasn't disappointed because from what I saw of the profile descriptions it was pretty much fluff.

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I have decided to work on some stuff with the North Texas Rock Rally - I am getting further and further entreanched in the biking world. I wonder if this is normal behaviour for a girl that lusts for Tiffany sterling silver toys and black leather clothing designed by Karl Lagerfeld......