Saturday, December 30, 2006

Odd Ways of Finding Me ...and... "It's a Nasty World After All...."

During my stay in the tech world, I became interested with web site statistics because they always showed something you weren't logically expecting. So because of that, I do have a way of watching who visits my blog. Yes, that means if you think you are visiting incognito or that I'm unaware of your presence, you're wrong. I know where you are coming from, what search criteria you used to find me and the time of your visit.

I've meant to mention this in past postings, but neglected to do so. The stats for today though are particularly varied and that has prompted me into action. So without further ado, here is just a small sampling of today's visitors and my feedback on them:
  • "$160,000 fountain pen" -- Virginia. I don't recall writing about an item like this; however, I think due to me being a Capricorn I do have an unusual fascination with silly, ridiculous and impractical luxury items so I might have mentioned something like this over the past 18 months of this blog.
  • "Montezuma County + Rally in the Rockies injunction" -- Missouri. I do recall this posting - yet another half-baked biker rally where people didn't get paid.
  • "Banned Rainbow episode" -- Norfolk, UK. This is popular search query from the UK to my blog. I included the script and video clip of this naughty bit from a children's show.
  • "Sexy doll breeding machine" -- Vienna, Austria. I would have to say that in the past 18 months I have indeed used each of those 4 words; however, never have I seen those 4 words used together....until now.
  • "Banned breed list" -- North Dakota. Probably someone looking for a list of dogs that are "banned breeds".
  • "KKK - Hico, TX" - Oklahoma. Yes, I have mentioned this. Hico is the home of Billy the Kid and also, according to talk, has been a popular place for the KKK. There is the Koffee Kup Kafe there which is a popular stopping place en route to the Texas Hill Country from Dallas.
  • "Nicky Bootz" -- Budapest, Hungary. This would be in regards to the 10-episode series, "Wright Across America" where Arsenal football legend Ian Wright rode cross country from Florida to San Diego with Nicky.
  • "Johnny Chop death" -- California, Canada, UK. Must be a news article or one of the biker shows repeating. Yes, Johnny died in late March 2006. He was 34 and received a heart transplant a few years ago. His heart simply gave out.
  • "Tiny condoms" - California. This was mentioned in the post about the less than well endowed men of India having wee willy winkies that didn't measure up to the international standard for penis sizes. I guess the boys at Trojan need to find a way to make tiny condoms so the boys in India can stop spreading AIDS at such a high rate.

...It's a Nasty World After All...

Anyone that reads this often, has probably seen some of my postings about swearing by anti-bacterial wips and hand sanitizer gels / lotions.

So there's this guy named Charles Gerba who is microbiologist at the University of Arizona and he's always running around testing to see how nasty things are. About a year ago he released a report informing the world that accountants and teachers were by far the owners of the nastiest, most germ laden desks, keyboards, etc.

Those of us in the television production sector, doctors and lawyers had the most germ free desks.

Now, Dr. Gerba has come out with yet more fascinating tidbits from the world of filth.

It seems that people are not cleaning their cell phones. I have a tendency to wipe mine down alot but I'll probably be doing it even more now. He tested 25 phones from cast and crew at Good Morning America and half of them carried staph infection bacteria! The sound guy had between 10-50 million bacteria on his phone!

Why are cell phones so popular with bacteria? Because they are nice and warm. The batteries heat them up, your hand is warm, your face is warm and the pocket of your jeans you slide the phone into is warm.

Another recent study showed that women have filthy purses. Some of the women who had their purses tested just blew off the findings because they said they don't ever touch the bottom of their purses....they don't? They don't set them on tables or counters when they walk in somewhere or their home? Their clothes don't brush up against them? The strap isn't hanging off the back of a chair where dozens of people have laid their hands to push that chair in and out from the table?

People thought Howard Hughes was an eccentric for being anti-germs -- I think that man was just ahead of his time.


Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Britain's Most Challenged Call Centre Customers

A hilarious collection of the stupidest customers to ring Britain's call centres has become a cult hit. Many callers were recorded as they went through some of the silliest inquiries ever received by exasperated operators.

The loony exchanges are rapidly flying around the web in a chain email. Here are some of the best...

  • Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
  • Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
  • Customer: "It was on the door to the travel centre".
  • Operator: "They're our opening hours".

  • Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
  • Operator: I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
  • Caller: "In the user guide it clearly states I need to unplug the fax machine from the wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Can you give me his number?"

  • Caller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
  • Operator: " Doesn't the name of the product give you a clue?"

  • Caller: "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

  • Caller: "I''d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
  • Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
  • Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B fell off".

  • ...Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven...
  • Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
  • Caller: "Yes. That''s what it says on the label: Woven in Scotland".

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I''m steaming up the window to write the number on".

  • Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
  • Customer: "OK" .
  • Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
  • Customer: "No" .
    Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
  • Customer: "No" .
  • Tech Support: "OK. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
  • Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

  • Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
  • Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"


Monday, December 25, 2006

Billy Idol Does Christmas

It's not exactly White Wedding or Flesh for Fantasy - but it's definitely Idol.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Santa Is On The Move!

It's official - Santa is en route and delivery toys right now!

When I last looked, he was in Brazil. Watch the activities yourself on the NORAD Santa Tracker.


Saturday, December 23, 2006

Happy Festivus!

On 18 December 1997, an episode of Seinfeld highlighted a celebration called "Festivus". Remarkably, this situation was not the brain child of the show's writers but was in fact based on fact.

  • Tired of stressing over gifts?
  • Tired of the forced jovial sentiments?
  • Tired of the fact that Christmas seems to have lost it's real meaning (No, it was not always a holiday to make the 4th quarter profits of all major retailers look healthy).
Well, join the cause. Here you will find some interesting links on the background of Festivus, how it is catching on and how you too can participate.

It's easy to get involved with Festivus:

  • The event is typically celebrated in late December; non-holiday weekdays are preferred because that allows for a work stoppage!.
  • Put up a plain aluminum pole - about 6' tall usually does the trick.
  • No adornments / tinsels / balls / lights are needed for the pole because it symbolizes the simple meaning of Festivus.
  • Gather your nearest and dearest for a dinner.
  • Cocktails are encouraged.
  • After dinner have the "Airing of the Grievances" - if anyone has ticked you off, speak now or forever hold your peace.
  • The evening ends with who ever can wrestle the host to the floor -- though, many find this practice a little hard core so changes like thumb wrestling or hula-hooping have been instilled to help burn off the aggressions.

By this point you should be cathartically cleansed of all emotional and physical B.S. and be able to begin the New Year on the right foot.

Also, YOU can assist in helping me to promote the meaning of Festivus - which in a roundabout way promotes the true meaning of Christmas. Just click on the Paypal Donation buttons to the right and in the spirit of the Festivus season - since your saving so much on not buying tree trimmings and gifts -- you can help me to promote the Festivus cause!

....Happy Festivus One and All....
Additional inspiring reading on Festivus:

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I Hurt Myself Today .... To See If I Still Feel.....

Sometimes you just need to see certain images again. I love this video from Johnny Cash.

Rick Rubin of American Recordings told Cash that he could record anything he wanted - Cash selected this Nine Inch Nails song. The imagry is haunting and beautiful and you can't help but be struck by the timing as it recaps his entire life and was filmed right before June's death.


Sunday, December 17, 2006

You Might Want To Really Consider Your Domain Name Before Registering!

Thanks to Teri for sending these!

All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear ... and be misread. These are not made up. Check them out yourself!
  1. "Who Represents" is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is
  2. "Experts Exchange" is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
  3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than "Pen Island" at
  4. Need a therapist? Try "Therapist Finder" at
  5. There's the "Italian Power Generator" company,
  6. And don't forget the "Mole Station Native Nursery" in New South Wales ,
  7. If you're looking for "IP computer software", there's always.
  8. The "First Cumming Methodist Church" Web site is
  9. And the designers at 'Speed of Art" await you at their wacky Web site,


Saturday, December 16, 2006

What Makes A Good Celebrity?

Some people are much better at being celebrities than others. A classic one was Michael Hutchence of INXS. He loved being a rock star - the music, the clothes, the travel, the fans, the perks, etc. He unfortunately also had the kind of death that would make him legendary.

My personal favorite is Mick Jagger - he's brilliant. Literally. Last week Gene Simmons made the comment that if the likes of him and Jagger hadn't been rock stars they would have ended up flipping burgers. I don't buy that. Jagger was in the London School of Economics when the Stones got together and after buying into the system and allowing various managers and agents run things for a few years, Mick and the boys found themselves broke in the early 70's.

Jagger got involved and started learning everything he could. To this day, he is the force behind the Stones -- a band that's average member is 63 years of age, a band that has been together for almost 45 years, a band that hasn't had a hit album in years -- but they had the biggest grossing tour of the past 18 months.

Pete Townshend of The Who asked Mick a couple weeks ago how everything was going. Mick replied, "All right." How is Keith? "All right". How is Ronnie? "All right." Ok, Mick, how are you? "Well I'm still fucking running everything!"

Ah yes, a man who has learned that it is not wise to trust your money to anyone or delegate.

Then we come to crappy celebrities - in this case Lindsay Lohan. I don't think I've ever seen her in a film. Her tantrums, and drunken nights at the age of 20 and full blown wackaloon break downs in the middle of a celebrity audience are becoming the norm rather than the exception. This girl should just go back to the Bronx and leave everyone alone.

But every cloud has a silver lining and in Lohan's case, it's Perez Hilton. He's a jovial gay boy from Miami who packed his bags for the bright lights of WeHo (West Hollywood) and now holds court with his laptop at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf on Sunset & Fairfax. He religiously updates his site throughout the day and just calls it like he sees it.

I appreciate that. His dead on, sometimes catty comments, truly sum up the sentiments of many people - in this case, Lohan. While the rest of the world turns on Entertainment Tonight for their celebrity scoop, I don't think anything can beat Perez. On top of it, he's getting a giggle and seems to be genuinenly appreciative of his new found celebrity -- I say, more power to him and keep up the good work!


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Americans: Successfully Offending the World Population, One Conference Call At a Time!

So since Teri is up in yankee land now, I suggested she could start writing her column again for Her reply? "But this is more work!" I replied with sending her a screen capture showing the stats of the site visitors in the past few hours and let her know that she will be able to successfully offend, entertain and tantalize people in New Zealand, Canada, Asia and Europe in addition to everyone she already offends stateside and in Finland.

I also let her know that yesterday our friend Jimbo managed to offend a bunch of Koreans during a conference call. Granted, he didn't eloquently tell the guy his idea "was fucked" as Teri has been known to do at a conference table full of Finns, but needless to say there is yet another batch of foreigners out there who are ranting about the "rude Americans".

Given the stories I hear from some of the people I know, I find it odd that The Illustrious One thinks I can be abrasive at times. I've been known the throw phones against walls due to being very "exhasperated" but I've never managed to offend an entire group of people from another nationality -- at least, not to their face.

But, I am a girl from the South, so give me time. I'm sure under the right circumstances I could stir up quite the international incident and knowing my luck it will all be on tape so it can be shown for time immortal on YouTube.

And now we have a film that is coming out in early March that I personally am looking forward to seeing:

Monday, December 11, 2006

I'll Take A Celeb With My Swag...

So during the course of conversation today someone mentioned how kewl would it be to have a celeb at a party. I replied, "So build it into your budget." They didn't know what I was talking about, in fact, was unaware that celebs are commodities, their inventory is their time, so pay up and they are yours - within reason - for an evening.

Let's be realistic, if you are opening a club, you spend an easy $2500 just on swag or ads. Sell a few more cocktails and have a celeb there as well. Here are some of the going rates (most everyone will have an entourage of 1 plus require travel expenses (air fare, ground transport, hotel, food, etc):
  • Kevin Federline: $12k + travel expenses for entourage of 4
  • Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas: $50k + 1
  • Dear or No Deal Models: $1k + 1
  • Cindy Margolis: $15k + 2
  • CC Deville of Poison: $5k + 2
  • Jamie Kennedy: Currently on tour but will party with you after his show for $10k
  • Steve O from Jackass: $18k + 2
  • Ron Jeremy: $3,500 + 2
  • Dave Navarro: $10k + 2

Sunday, December 10, 2006

You Asked For the "Tiny" Condom?

So I guess this means that an Indian guy could wear a "Texas-sized" condom as a rain slicker?

Dec 8, 2006 — NEW DELHI (Reuters) - Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found.

The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run center, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 percent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about 2.4 cm (one inch) shorter than those condoms catered for.

For a further 30 percent, the difference was at least 5 cm (two inches). A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn't do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use.

"One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 percent (of condoms) is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis," the council's Dr. Chander Puri told Reuters, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry.

Puri said many men in India, which has the world's highest HIV positive caseload, were too shy to ask for condoms.

"We need more vending machines for condoms of different sizes so people can pick a condom with confidence that is suited to their needs," he said.

The Times of India reported the ICMR survey had studied 1,400 men between 18-50 years of age in cities like Mumbai and New Delhi as well as in rural areas in a report. It entitled its story "Indian men don't measure up."


Friday, December 08, 2006

Godard's Latest Creation...

So anyone that reads this blog often knows I'm passionate about Michael Godard. There hasn't been many works out of him this year due to his daugter Paige's illness. She passed away a month ago due to brain cancer and he's just now getting back into the studio.
I received these photos today and they are of Godard, back in the studio within the past couple days, and putting the finishing touches on his newest work.

This is such a gorgeous piece. There will be 200 Artist's Proofs at $1,395 and only 20 special "Godard" editions whose price has not been set yet. The original of this sold within moments of the email being sent out.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Complaint-free Movement -- I think this idea has a lot of merit -- read for yourself....

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — It was a pastor's simple idea: Just stop complaining.

And to help his congregation remember, the Rev. Will Bowen of Christ Church Unity gave each member a bracelet stamped with the word "spirit."

The challenge? Go 21 days straight without mumbling a complaining word and no gossiping and criticizing either. If a person slipped, the bracelet was to be switched to the other wrist and clock restarted.

But what began in July as a simple idea has become a national movement.
The church has received more than 100 calls, e-mails and letters, many requesting bracelets the church is offering for free.

"So far, we have sent out more than 9,000," Bowen said.

Requests for bracelets have come from individuals, families, churches of various denominations, businesses, schools, civic groups, scouts and sports teams.

The church offers yard signs and bumper stickers that read "A Complaint Free," and it is selling "complaint-free church" T-shirts with this quote from Maya Angelou: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."

Christ Church's own complaint-free club is growing as people reach their 21 straight days without complaining. Of the 250 members, the club now numbers 12 and includes Bowen and his 10-year-old daughter, Lia, he said.

Patricia Platt recently succeeded, with a push from her fourth-grade class. Several students told her their parents had seen her name in the paper and asked what it was about. She told them, and many wanted the class to try the challenge.

Careful not to offend parents by getting the bracelets from her church, Platt bought bracelets that displayed such words as "hope," "be strong" and "dream." All of her 25 students wanted bracelets, regularly shared in the class how they were doing, wanted updates on how their teacher was doing and applauded when she announced her success earlier this month.

Fourteen students also have made it and received "positive attitude" certificates.

"This was an incentive for me because I knew they were looking up to me," Platt said. "One girl said she needed to learn how to handle her little sister because she always has to change her bracelet because of her. And sometimes a student will come up and start to say something, then stop and say, 'Never mind. That would be complaining.' "

Bowen is surprised by how quickly his idea ignited.

"Obviously a chord has been struck that is just vibrating," he said. "And it is continuing to build momentum. More and more people are finding out about it. I'm just flabbergasted."

Mignon Bullington of Camarillo, Calif., who ordered bracelets for her family, said the complaint-free challenge "struck strong emotions" in her.

"I noticed that when my husband and I were being negative about any such subject, our kids (ages 19, 17 and 11) would chime in," she said. "How horrible that is to see and realize how our children are being taught to act, react and live."

For her, the challenge offered hope for a more peaceful and kind society.

The Rev. Howard Self, interim pastor at Congregational Church in Algonquin, Ill., said the church's administrative assistant brought an newspaper article about the bracelets to him. She had been visiting in Kansas City when it appeared in the newspaper there. "When I read it, I said, 'I have to figure out a way to use this.' "

The congregation had been through a rough time.

"I saw this as the first step in moving from a complaint-filled congregation to a complaint-free congregation," Self said.

On Sunday, the bracelets will be given out at the end of the worship service.

"This will be the symbolic closing of the door on complaining," Self said.
Bowen now is dreaming big.

"What I think we will see in the future, we will turn on our television, and there will be characters and people wearing the bracelets, and it will be a nonsurprise.

"And we may turn on 'Oprah' and say, 'Oops, it is back on the right arm!' Or Regis will be telling Kelly, 'I can't go 21 days! Is he nuts? It's baseball season!' "

Linda LeMieux of Christ Church, who recently made her 21 days, said, "We want world peace, but the question is always, what can one person do? This is it."


Friday, December 01, 2006

Women Riders Now

Today 2 Wheel Passport is the top story on the popular site Women Riders Now.

I emailed Teri to let her know she was becoming famous!

Check out the story at:


Wednesday, November 29, 2006


The Las Vegas BikeFest Partnership announced today that the dates for future Las Vegas BikeFest™ events have been changed beginning with next year’s 2007 rally.

After nearly two years of analysis, surveys and discussions with industry stakeholders, the decision has been made to change the traditional date pattern for Las Vegas BikeFest™ in order to place the event during a period when temperatures are more conducive to traditional outdoor motorcycle rally activities.

Beginning with the 2007 event, the event dates will be two to three weeks later then the historic pattern in the middle of September.

The 20 year weather history for Las Vegas shows that average high temperatures during mid-September are 94ºF - 96ºF, and can often be over 100ºF. A change by two to three weeks moves Las Vegas BikeFest to a period when the average high temperature drops to 86ºF - 88ºF – perfect rally weather.

“The 2006 Las Vegas BikeFest had unseasonably moderate weather and both vendors and attendees have told us it was the most enjoyable Las Vegas BikeFest ever”, states Harry Schwartz, Full Throttle Events, one of the Las Vegas BikeFest partners.

The Las Vegas BikeFest dates for the next 10 years will be:

2007: September 27 – 30
2008: October 2 – 5
2009: October 1 – 4
2010: September 30 – October 3
2011: September 29 – October 2
2012: October 4 – 7
2013: October 3 – 6
2014: October 2 – 5
2015: October 1 – 4
2016: September 29 – October 2

The 7th annual Las Vegas BikeFest™ will be held September 27-30 in the most famous 24-hour city, Las Vegas, Nevada. The event will consist of the Vendor Village at Cashman Center with over 300 manufacturers and vendors, and activities such as Poker Runs and competitions, and non-stop entertainment. Artistry in Iron, Master Builders’ Championship will also take place at Cashman Center. 40,000 bikers and enthusiasts are expected to be in attendance.

Las Vegas BikeFest™ is produced by the Las Vegas BikeFest Partnership made up of ConvExx and Full Throttle Events. Las Vegas BikeFest™ information is available at, or call toll-free 866-BIKEFEST (866-245-3337) or e-mail

Monday, November 27, 2006

The Latest News on "2 Wheel Passport"


DALLAS – November 27, 2006 – Dallas-based Banned Breed Productions, the television production company behind the new travel series “2 Wheel Passport,” has awarded online broadcasting rights of the show to InCommand Broadcasting Inc. (iCB). iCB is a division of Nations Broadband Corporation, a privately held telecommunications corporation which has operated worldwide for more than 15 years.

“2 Wheel Passport,” which will take viewers to various scenic destinations across the United States on a motorcycle, was initially broadcasted in Europe where it was a hit travel/destination program. Banned Breed Productions will begin filming the U.S. version of “2 Wheel Passport” in early 2007. They are working in tandem with London-based Hub TV, the producer of the original European show.

“With the advent of devices such as iPod videos and the increasing popularity of sites such as, we are seeing that the web is allowing freedom for productions that have not been available via mainstream broadcasters,” said Raine Devries, co-producer of ‘2 Wheel Passport.’ “Broadcasting ‘2 Wheel Passport’ on the web enables us to immediately target viewers around the world because the series will be available 24 hours a day. In addition, we now have a full hour in length rather than the 46 minutes available on traditional channels – which increases the content time by 24%. It’s a big world to see on two wheels – but it’s getting smaller every day due to the fast changes in technology.”

The Wall Street Journal recently heralded the arrival of web-based TV programming with an article headlined ‘Made-for-Web Shows are the Next Big Thing” (Oct.31, 2006). In that article, the national news publication highlighted a select group of web TV upstarts and the increased interest generated among national brands looking to reach new audiences.

Each episode of “2 Wheel Passport” will be available to watch online at and for download onto iPods and MP3s. Route maps, itineraries, GPS coordinates, and restaurant and lodging recommendations will also be available for download to navigation systems, computers and other devices. This allows the viewer to literally take the show with them as they travel to the same destinations and enables them to locate specific routes, sights and stopping places that they wish to experience for themselves.

About “2 Wheel Passport”
The series “2 Wheel Passport” was initially broadcast in Europe in 2003 and is now beginning U.S. production for broadcast to a global market. The new incarnation will take advantage of today’s rapidly changing technology by utilizing the web to provide downloadable GPS maps, restaurant and lodging reviews and making the series available for download to iPods and computers. Up to date series details are available at Banned Breed Productions --

About iCB and Nation’s Broadband Corporation
In-Command Broadcasting is a division of Nations Broadband Corporation, a privately held corporation which has operated worldwide for over 15 years. It was founded with a vision of enhancing worldwide telecommunication services, as well as the telecommunications power of the Internet by integrating and developing cutting edge services and technologies for the communications revolution. The company was founded by telecommunications industry veterans with proven track records of successful ventures. Since the telecom industry’s deregulation, Nations has been instrumental in providing reliable state of the art broadcasting, telecommunication, technology, and Internet-based services to business all over the world. In fact, Nations is recognized, approved, certified and tariffed by the FCC and the States’ Public Utility Commissions, and other worldwide organizations.

# # #
Thank God It's Monday...

I'm one of those weird ones that see holidays as an interruption. Monday - Wednesday was non-stop action - Thursday was a screeching halt -- Friday a few emails came in having to do with the show.

It's nice to have a full week to get back into the groove of things.


Kudos to Prince William and Prince Harry of England for planning a tribute concert for Princess Diana. The advance word is that it will be held at the new Wembley Arena on 1 July 2007 which is the date of her birthday.

Since she was such a music fan they are asking everyone from Sir Elton John to Duran Duran to George Michael to Robbie Williams to perform. The proceeds will benefit those charities she was partial to.


The rumblings are already begining -- when is the BIG Toy Run going to be held? It will be on 17 December 2006 at 1:00pm.

Parades leave Dallas, Grapevine and Ft. Worth and will end at Arlington Convention Center.

Entry is one unwrapped toy or $10. More details available at:


Sunday, November 26, 2006

"I left my nut on the bar room floor..."

In Dallas, there is a section of town called Lower Greenville. A lot of peple that are new to Dallas don't know where LG begins -- it begins at Mockingbird Lane. In most cities it would be called SoMo for south of Mockingbird (think SoHo - south of Houston in NYC and SoBe for South Beach in Miami)....but here, we have Lower Greenville.

LG is one of those parts of town where cute little bungalows sell for $300k to yuppies who then huff and puff because of the noise and traffic and even though they bought a home half a block away from a strip of nightclubs and restaurants. Everyone else rents and it's usually younger people, or those working in hospitality or entertainment.

That being said, if a group of LG residents stumbled upon blood, penis and bits of a testicle next to a bar as they had stepped up to order their drinks, they'd probably start singing the song "Detachable Penis".....

"I Left My Nut On The Bar Room Floor...."
Submitted by Avi S. Adelman on November 25, 2006 - 23:56.
Bar patron accidentally shoots self in crotch, then claims he was shot by someone else

A Lower Greenville bar patron shot himself in the crotch while sitting at a bar. He went home and called the police, claiming someone else had shot him. DPD was able to prove his story was fabricated when they found parts of the bullet, a testicle, his penis, and some flesh on the bar floor.

While this may sound like the first verse of a really bad country-western song (is there such a thing as a good country-western song??), DPD sources swear it is absolutely true. Of course, it takes a long time to tell the story because they are laughing too hard while repeating it. BD won't name the bar since they should not be associated with someone so stupid.

According to DPD sources, the incident (which occurred last weekend) started in a little tussle with some other patrons in this bar. Feeling humiliated, the patron went out to his car and came back with a small-caliber weapon tucked in his pants.

(Which brings up the question: Did he know the safety was off??)

The suspect went to the bar and tried to show his newfound manhood to the (female) bartender. She told DPD she did not see anything recognizable in his pants.

Moments later, the patron stood up and bounced his gut against the bar, causing the gun to discharge. The bartender told DPD she heard what sounded like a balloon popping, but paid no mind to it since there was a birthday party taking place in the bar.

The patron did not show any signs of pain or distress and left the bar immediately after the shot was fired. He went home, then called the DPD to report he had been shot by persons unknown.
DPD immediately began to doubt his story (could it be the lack of a bullet hole in his pants??) and started to trace his whereabouts during the evening. An inspection of the floor by the bar led to the discovery of the bullet fragments and body parts.

According to initial reports, the bullet entered the patron's scrotum (taking out a testicle and piece of his penis along the way), went through his foot, before lodging in the bar floor.

The patron was admitted to the hospital, but no charges are pending against him at this time.


Friday, November 24, 2006

Deep Thoughts...

Some people think I'm odd because I carry hand sanitizer with me everywhere. I prefer the kind from Bath & Body Works because it's often on sale for $2.50, an assortment of fragrances, comes in gel and lotion options and has moisturizing beads embedded. I'm told it's weird for a biker girl to be so anti-germs.

Well, for what it's worth, there is at least one other Texan who takes it even more seriously than I. A couple nights ago a man was at a bar called Tumbleweeds in Ft. Worthless, saw another patron use the mens room and didn't wash his hands after tucking Mr. Johnson away. This man berated the nasty guy and ended up stabbing him 4 times. Nasty man lived and the other man is in jail.

Ah ha! See -- it's not just me.

So the Russians are still at it? Russian President Vladimir Putin is saying the death of Alexander Litvinenko wasn't "that painful."

WTF? The guy died a brutal death over 3 weeks from radiation poisoning from a substance that is so rare less than 100 grams a year are produced every year world wide, there are traces of this substance at the restaurant and hotel Litvinenko was at before he became so ill.


The College Republicans at Boston University have caused quite the bru-ha-ha with their $250 Caucasian Achievement & Recognition Scholarship. A BU student must be at least 1/4 caucasian in order to apply and write 2 essays.

Evidentally, it's ok to have race specific scholarships for blacks, latins, indians, etc. etc., but not caucasians. Seems rather discriminatory to have race specific scholarships but if it's ok for everyone else, why shouldn't it be ok for caucasians?


So today I stopped by A Bikers Christmas that my friend Tigger is holding at Market Hall -- naturally and gun & knife show is being held in the next hall - and I met some interesting people. Amongst some of the females I spoke with at the booths, was the topic of "Do girls who ride like to perpetuate this "bitch, rode hard & put up wet, let's flash our boobs at everyone" mentality?


If I want to see topless women, I'll go to a strip club or pull up an web site -- but since I don't bat for that team the only time I go to a strip club is when KZPS is having an event at Silver City.

I don't think it's cute or funny to be called a bitch -- even if a another female does it. That makes about as much sense is a blacks calling one another "niggas".

I think it just boils down to the concept that if you don't treat yourself with respect, why should anyone else?


Ch-ch-changes at Exile Cycles: So if you've ever dealt with Exile, you've probably dealt with Dan Hugh-Jones. For reasons, I don't know at this point, is no longer with Exile. He's going to chill for a couple weeks and then jump into his next adventure.


While on the topic of British boys in LA - there is a certain someone that will probably be doing all the music for 2 Wheel Passport. I was doing some researching online and found a "fan's" web site -- this fan is a 46 year old woman in Pittsburg.

Some of her recent comments included her realization that some of his lyrics made references to drug use and she now wonders how she could have ever been a fan.

She also said that the articles seem to say very little and that maybe he is nothing more than a "beautiful bimbo".

I guess the concept that he might want to keep his personal life personal, never dawned on her.

She also critiqued the fact that he was in Philadelphia or Pittsburg a few months ago with one of the bands he performs in and even though it's been 4 years since she's seen him, she held out hope that there might be something between them?

Did this 46 year old groupie expect him to ring her up? Has he been pining away for her all this time? With the thousands of people he's been exposed to just this year on the US and European tours, he's got no one else to think of?

Could be but not likely.

I speak to him on the phone about once every 2 weeks and I know a fair amount about his history - as a working relationship, if he was a male bimbo I wouldn't have anything to do with him. But from a working standpoint, he's dead on.

Why do girls act so ridiculous when it comes to the boys in the bands? Things that make you go "Hmmmm..."


Sunday, November 19, 2006

Bike Stuff -- Big Surprise

Yesterday The Illustrious One, Magoo and I attended the International Motorcycle Show in Ft. Worth. Made a few good contacts.

Today I ventured out to Terrell to assist with the packaging of care packs that are being shipped out to the service men & women serving overseas in battle zones. A group called Soldier Angels was organizing it.


There's a new amusing video from Harley that you can see here:


So in the world of biking, you have those that take the mindset of, "As long as you are on a bike, that's all that matters," and then you have those that are very brand loyal.

I confess, I don't know a lot about Honda Gold Wings, but I do know they had a "Wing Ding" here a couple years ago and everyone was wearing pajama bottoms for some reason when they were riding and a few weeks ago someone else told me that when they rode with a Gold Wing's group for a couple years, they finally had it give it up because it seemed like every 10 miles they stopped for ice cream.

Anyway, so maybe that's a little background into why the following was sent out:

Top Ten Reasons Why Gold Wing Riders Don't Wave Back

  1. Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making an obscene gesture.
  2. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip.
  3. Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult to raise arm.
  4. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.
  5. The espresso machine just finished.
  6. Was actually asleep when other rider waved.
  7. Was in a three-way conference call with stockbroker and accessories dealer.
  8. Was distracted by odd shaped blip on radar screen.
  9. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height, programmable CD player, seat temperature and satellite navigation system.
  10. Couldn't find the "auto wave back" button on dashboard.


Kudos to The Sun for laying shame on the British music establishment. When the The Sun get's their teeth into something, they often bring about successful changes. After 25 remarkable years, Depeche Mode has yet to be honored with a lifetime achievement award.

As The Sun put it, if the Spice Girls can get an award like that after only a couple years and 3 albums, then it IS a travesty when a band like Depeche has yet to be honored.


On a spin-off Depeche topic, their band of choice for opening the last tour, Scissor Sisters has a new single out. For those of you still in the dark, SS, is one of the hottest bands in the world right now - but not, in typical fashion, in the U.S. even though this is an American band.

Bono of U2 has even said that SS is one of the best bands out right now.

So, crank up the volume, and have some fun. Oh, and for those of you that are homophobic and don't like eurotrash, tune out now because it's a visual delight to see Jake Shears in that tight leather...Mmmmm!


Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Posers & Users

This afternoon Magoo and I were at a meeting that quasi-had to do with the show. Afterwards we went to get some dinner and about mid-way through he mentioned how he seemed to have fallen off of a certain someone's radar. Even though Magoo considered this guy a friend, once he was no longer in a position to pony up tickets he suddenly was treated as persona non grata.

Since the topic had been placed on the table I told him my experiences with this guy, The Illustrious One and Teri's experiences. Suffice to say that all 4 of us have come to the same independent conclusion on this wannabe.

It never fails -- if anyone has anything remotely to do with the entertainment world, you somehow end up on the fast dial of any poser that doesn't want to pony up an admission price. What these posers fail to realize is that for those of us on the giving side, this ain't exactly our first rodeo. We know you're using us and we will oblidge you if it's not too much of an inconvenience.

And what would really go far is if there was some sort of reciprication in return. Someone comps you $140 in concert tickets -- get them a token gift. And at the very least your happy ass should say "Thank you."

Also, if you do a "favor" for someone in the entertainment world, don't assume that your favor was nothing more than an advance payment for several hundred dollars worth of tickets. I saw this poser first hand, loan a portable cooling fan to the promotions director of a radio station so the PD could use it for his daughter's outdoor birthday party. When the fan was returned, the poser hit up the PD for a Santa-Claus-is-coming-to-town wish list of tickets he "needed in return".

Now keep in mind this is after this poser had hit the PD up for additional tickets to a gig just the week before.

So rude.

And what is sad in a twisted way is that this poser probably hasn't even put the pieces of the puzzle together yet -- "Let's see, 2 months and the clique of people I used to speak to on an almost daily basis are all still really tight but I have no part any longer. Nope...couldn't be me." And the poser is off to cultivate a new clique of people to try to use.

All I have to say in closing to that is that kharma is a bitch.


Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Tuesday -- Keeping It Brief....

Today was one of those perfect days to be on the bike -- alas, I only had one quick errand to do. It did make me realize though that there is jack to do in North Dallas. At least when I'm closer to downtown, it's just a few minutes to go over to White Rock Lake or find something else to do.

I really need to get back into my own world soon.

For some of you, you won't understand what this means -- On Friday, Mercury goes direct. About 3 times a year it goes into "retrograde" which makes it a lousy time to close deals. It finally goes direct this Friday and next week is Turkey day. (big sigh). It's challenging to do business on weeks where a holiday is.


Monday, November 13, 2006

No Illegals in Farmers Branch, Texas

Tonite, in a unanimous vote, the city council of Farmers Branch (a Dallas suburb) has voted for English to be the official language of the city and to fine any businesses or landlords that hire or rent or sell property to illegal immigrants.

LULAC and others are up in arms saying that this is discriminatory actions against latins.

Seems to me it's discriminatory action against illegal aliens.

I don't know of anyone that has a problem with persons of latin heritage -- I do however know plenty of people, including some latins, that are anti-illegals.

Anyone that has had a single semester of philosophy would understand the concept of the "slippery slope" - once you begin to make exceptions for one, where will it stop? I don't see this issue is being a "latin" issue -- I see it as being a "legal" issue.

If illegal aliens are allowed to break the law - why shouldn't a rapist? Or a murderer? Are these extreme comparisons because they are all crimes after all.

If I go to a foreign country, I am expected to abide by the laws of that land. Why should it be any different here?

You can read the whole story here.


Sunday, November 12, 2006

Idle Ramblings....

Yesterday I finally took some time to myself after 2 weeks of non-stop motorcycle stuff. I went to go see A Good Year starring Russell Crowe. I went because one of my favourite authors, Peter Mayle, wrote the book. Usually I am hesitatnt about seeing films from books I like -- several years later and I am still horribly disappointed that Clint Eastwood did such a lousy job with In The Garden of Good & Evil -- what a fantastic book that was!

Anyway, so the general storyline was maintained and the cinematography was fabulous. Provence was just a visual dream. I recommend it.

I still want to see Borat -- it looks silly funny.


Today I went to Chiliepepperama which is held at Old Town (Greenville @ Lovers) that my friend Marsha is the event director for. I thought I was just stopping by for an hour or so - ended up staying 5 hours. I guess one of the challenges of knowing a little bit about the events business is that others in that world know it also so you get wrangled into service.

I kept receiving swag, tequilla shots and margaritas and I also tried various chilies -- though one was like a meat! The boys at KZPS were all over me like bees on honey - I've protested attending their events due to the Magoo situation. Landon took me on at Atari Pong -- one of the original machines from God only knows how long ago! He won -- but in my defense the damn paddle could have been a bit more receptive and quicker!

Lots of people kept coming up to me complimenting the article in the Dallas Business Journal. Since I was out of town the weeks it was on the stands, this was the first time I was confronted by so many people that had read it.

One odd thing is that some people kept looking at me like they knew me - but I don't know why because I didn't recognize them. And I doubt it was my bike jacket because other people on bikes were there.

I did have an amusing conversation with one of the guys there -- he asked if I listened to Steppenwolf and I told him him I was more likely to be listening to Scissor Sisters' Filthy/Gorgeous than Born to be Wild.

And that made me think -- I would really like to see 2 Wheel Passport convey more about today's bikers. I certainly can't be the only person bored to tears with the same music playlist at bike events or shows -- Steppenwolf, Molly Hatchet, ZZ Top, etc. Nothing against those bands - it's just so expected. But as luck would have it, 2WP has someone very dynamic in place to handle the music.


Saturday, November 11, 2006


You can't tell just by looking.

He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.

He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel.

She - or he - is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.

He is the POW who went away one person and came back another - or didn't come back at all.

He is the drill instructor who has never seen combat - but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Soldiers, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.

He is the parade -riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.

He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.

He is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.

He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket - palsied now and aggravatingly slow - who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.

He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being - a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness... So just lean over and say Thank You.


Friday, November 10, 2006


Is it possible for a non-pierced, non-tattooed, white girl to be discriminated against? Oh, yes!

Last week during some downtime I was hanging out with a couple people and the show 2 Wheel Passport came up and the possible interest in doing an episode just with girls. Why would this be of interest? Because it seems like girls have unique challenges that guys don't.

Basic mechanics are a necessity and I confess to being lax in this area. I get on and ride my bike -- things of a mechanical nature I leave to Ryan or The Illustrious One. I'm so challenged I've never even mastered the concept of checking tire pressure and adding air. The reality is that if I were solo on the road, I'd be SOL if I had to try to troubleshoot something.

Another issue girls face is the reaction of other people - in this case, men.
  • Some guys are quite enthused by a girl that can ride their own bike.
  • Others are so captivated by watching that they don't pay attention to where they are driving and that can be dangerous to all of us.
  • And the last group, they just hate us. I usually chalk that up to jealousy that they don't have their own bike.
And then you have the females which can be broken down into 3 basic groups:
  • Those that hoot and holler and cheer you on.
  • Those that will look right at you, make eye contact and still turn right in front of you or are so wrapped up in their cell phone call they don't notice you.
  • And finally those that discrimnate against you.
My two recent examples of this last one include:

Riding my bike on 121 in front of Stonebriar Mall. Waiting for light to change. Beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon. Doing my usual habit of adjusting my rings when I come to a stop (I have this weird habit of always needing to perfectly center the rings when I come to a stop). The woman in the big ass SUV next to me makes it obvious that she is locking her car doors. I found it amusing.

About a week later, I was in the Albertsons parking lot placing some groceries into the saddlebags. This teenage girl is heading towards the passenger door of the car next to me and her mother snaps at her to go to the drivers side of the car.

Ooooo...beware the biker girl that has all her own teeth, Lancome wearing, anti-bacterial cleanser addicted and is sans tatts and piercings.

So, yes, discrimination is alive and well.

On the guys side, I don't really know what challenges they experience. I know for me I've watched how people behave around The Illustrious One and it can be amusing. When he's in his metrosexual mode -- wardrobe is immaculate, perfect suits, perfectly pressed shirts, the season's current color in necktie, just the right amount of cologne -- people are so cordial to him.

But then, you put him in his biker gear - particular one of his leather jackets - and he's in motorosexual mode, people absolutely clear his path. I remember one time him walking into a movie theater and people literally parted to let him pass like Moses and the Red Sea. We also didn't have anyone sitting within 3 rows of us.

Sometimes I just find all of this highly amusing yet very enlightening in terms of discrimination and perceived impressions.


Thursday, November 09, 2006

2 Wheel Passport and Rantings About Houston...

I'm excited...I'm daunted and I'm being told that the buzz in the industry is rampant about this show "2 Wheel Passport". Ha pressure. The good thing is that many people are confirming that the timing is perfect for this show.

We were very fortunate to have a story on us in last week's Dallas Business Journal. When The Illustrious One and I went by the bookstore to see how things turned out, he said he heard me gasp from about 15' away. Our publicist had already told us we would be on page 4, but what I was not expecting was to see The Illustrious One sharing space with the masthead, and as Jubin said, "Dude, you are above the fold!"

Very high profile placement indeed. And I daresay that tricked out purple Harley of his definitely woke some people up when they got their DBJ's that week!

There wreen't any posting last week on this blog because I was in Galveston at the Lone Star Rally. Suffice to say that I will never work another rally again. After dealing with the cluster f*ck that was the North Texas Rock Rally in July and then what happened last week, I've officially had my fill.

See, I have this weird theory that it takes just as much energy to be polite to someone as it does to be rude. Last Saturday I sat on the curb of Harborside and told Tigger Liddell some of the antics going on. He said I had no business being down there -- get back to Dallas and let those boys in Houston alone to muddle things up. I got home as soon as I could!

Since I have no confidentiality agreements signed, I've decided to write a tell all article as soon as The Illustrious One gives me clearance to start updating again -- which I hope will be soon!

Another thing I noticed about Houston, for the most part chivalry is dead. Men in Dallas are polite more often than not -- they hold doors, they say "thank you", and they would be horrified if they were able bodied and a girl was doing the work.

Houston? Oh God. Chivalry is so dead in that region I think it never existed. Houston is smoggy, lousy drivers, they have a fixation with this funky lime green coloured salsa, the guys are rude and the women aren't much better.