Tests To Delight & Inform

A few weeks ago an acquaintance gave The Illustrious One and I some sort of online tests that were to tell us how to better understand one another. It's a 2-part test and the output is like 40 pages each so between the 2 of us, there was a lot of reading. Evidently these tests are quite popular in the corporate world.

Suffice to say that The Illustrious One's report portrayed him as skipping through life with glee throwing pixie dust into the air.

Moi? The very first friggin sentence started with, and I quote, "Raine can be cold and blunt"......Well fuck all. I'm supposed to read another 79 pages of this like it's news to anyone that knows me?!

Other tidbits were that a person, who values their health, should not repeat themselves around me - evidently according to the test, all you'll end up doing is ticking me off and have me thinking you are a blithering idiot that must think I have no memory recall and curses to you for squandering my time. Strangely enough, it was rather eerie how accurate that was.

Another tidbit is that unless you want me to geld you with a dull spoon, make sure you have all elements of what you need to tell me pulled together, make sure the facts are accurate and by all means keep it short and sweet. Otherwise, I will blow through your loopholes like they were the Holland Tunnel.

The other one that resonated with me was that it may seem like I'm vacillating on a decision, but the reality is that, yes, I do take a longer than normal time to make a decision, but that's because I'm working through every possible outcome and until I decide which way the dice are going roll, you won't be getting an answer - but when I do answer, I'll stick with my decision.

During the reading of all of this, The Illustrious One is sitting there nodding his head in agreement like one of those dogs on a back dashboard. Even though it can look kind of cute when he's doing that, I know that his mind is like a steel trap and he's filing away all that info to use at his discretion.

Of course, since these reports were so long winded, I did a cursory glance through and let Illustrious give me the Cliff's Notes version. Though, because I'm very visual, I did zoom in on the pretty colorful pie charts at the back of the second report. There was a dot and a star and they were both firmly entrenched in orange near the outside perimeter of the circle. "WHY are my dot and star in orange?! I hate orange! Why can't mine be in pretty colors like yours?",

Illustrious informs me that if I would just READ the fine print I would find out that the dot is who I truly am and the star is who I have adapted to be and since they were both practically on top of one another, in my case at least, what you see is what you get.

In other breaking news, Illustrious was reading a book that described personality types - the one that he is classified as, is dangerously accurate. Me? I guess the only saving grace was that it explained to him that as an only child, Yes, I really do think the entire world revolves around me.

Honestly, why wouldn't I?