Sunday, August 27, 2006

Equality In Relationships?

The items I am about to write about are my opinion only. This will probably offend some - women in particular - but it's my blog and if you don't like it, don't read it or go post on your own.

So the editor of Forbes Magazine writes an article entitled "Don't Marry a Woman with a Career" and all hell broke loose. Forbes took the article offline and replaced it with "Don't Marry a Lazy Man" written by a female.

But what is the root of this issue? Is it possible for the vast majority of heterosexual couples in industralized nations to be in a relationship with complete and total equality? Are men and women completely equal in all regards?

Now don't jump off the deep end and think that I believe that women shouldn't vote or drive -- absolutely they should. I also believe in freedom of choice for women. But I do not think that most relationships can be completely 50/50 and long lasting in a postive way.

There are going to be those relationships where you have the "Stay At Home Mom / Dad" -- I don't understand this concept for the simple fact that I get bored so quickly. Why anyone would want to hang around the house playing house manager, watching Oprah and schlepping kids around is beyond me. I want my life legacy to amount for more than "I took the kids to soccer practice every day for 8 years".

I think if a girl wants her own career she should have it -- but that isn't what I see as the root of the issues with couples. It's a lack of respect for the dominate party. Now before you feminazi's start yelping - just consider this -- A Fortune 100 company does not have dozens of CEO's -- they only have 1. There is only one President of the USA. There has to be a chain of command otherwise chaos erupts.

So that brings us back to the battle of the sexes -- women don't want to play Happy Homemaker anymore and men today are afraid if they should open a door for a woman for fear of being bashed for doing so. In a situation where you have more than 1 person, just like in a corporate or government structure, there has to be one dominate party.

The domainate party in a relationship does not get that position by having a coup or being rude. They get that role by showing respect and consideration for their mate. They get it by showing their mate that they share the same goals and concerns and will work towards taking care of them.

Sit down with one another and discuss the money in a sane way - find out where all the investments are - make sure all the paperwork is in order and both parties are on the same sheet of music. But for more than 51% of the time, one party needs to be respected enough to maintain the dominate role in the relationship....it's human nature and to try to fight it is just going to cause grief.

In the past 100 years women have made great strides in equality but wouldn't it be nice to have equality and a better relationship with your guy? Certainly there must be a way of making it a win/win situation for both genders.

If you think I'm off base, why are there comparisons with studies from today v. 50 years ago that show couples then were happier, had sexual relations more often - and better ones, and had less arguing.

I suppose it comes down to a persons individual needs / wants / desires -- do they prefer to be in control of a relationship or happier in one?



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1 comment:

Crazy Horse said...

Raine,
I sent you an email on this subject. I hope you get it.