A "Linch" Ride to Neiman-Marcus

It's bad enough that Texans have to deal with so many misconceptions such as the following which are true statements I've actually heard out of the mouths of others:

• "It gets cold in Texas?!"
• "You really get ice storms?"
• From one girl visiting from Los Angeles, "I can't believe you have paved roads here!"
• "Are you sure you're from Dallas? You sure don't sound like it."
• "Why isn't anyone wearing a cowboy hat? I thought all Texans wore cowboy hats."
• "Where can I see some tumbleweeds?"

And then when you hope that everything is getting back on track, you have a local HOG chapter (Harley Owners Group) that makes a big to-do about lynchings on their guest book due to the following posting:

SAT 8/12- VIP BRUNCH AT THE SHOP 8AM SHOWING THE 2006 FALL MOTORCLOTHES LINE, DRAWINGS AND DOOR PRIZES. ALSO, NEW OWNER ORIENTATION FROM 10-11 AM, THEN LINCH RIDE TO TERRELL

But on the lighter side, one incident that always brings a smile to my face happened at the Federal Building in downtown Dallas a couple years ago. I was waiting in the passport line where the older gentleman was explaining to the woman applying that she needed 2 forms of government issue ID.

She replied with, "Oh I have that! Here's my drivers license and my Neiman-Marcus card."

Now even I was stunned by that comment, but she had pulled out both forms of plastic to present for her US passport application to be approved.

It took the gentleman about 3 minutes of conversing with her and trying to explain that a Neiman-Marcus card may be powerful in the hands of some, but Uncle Sam simply won't accept it as a form of "government issued identification."

When I finally got my chance at the window, I was still biting my lips to keep from laughing out loud!

If I may parphrase from Cindy Adams' New York Post column daily sign off...

"Only in Dallas kids, only in Dallas."