Thursday 13

It's that time again - so here are the 13 things about me. I have worked extensively with bands & motorcycle builders, so since that list would far exceed 13, I am going to focus on just other weird stuff.

I have interesting phone numbers in my cell phone of some people that might be considered famous (#1 - 4) by some or strange brushes with the famous / infamous:

1. Charles Durning - Hollywood actor, TV star, WWII decorated war veteran
2. Daniel Ash -- of Bauhaus, Love & Rockets
3. Roxy LeRoux -- world's tallest Penthouse Pet
4. Tera Heart -- adult film star
5. Dennis Quaid -- once touched my left breast at a USA Fim Festival party -- God only knows why.
6. Stevie Ray Vaughn -- partied in LA together
7. Duran Duran -- my "party after the show" story was told a few days ago on this blog
8. I was laughing with some friends and almost walked right into Elizabeth Taylor at Texas Stadium during a Dallas Cowboys game. She was a guest in Jerry Jones (the owner) suite. I had one this dark purple suede jacket that she loved.
9. Andy Warhol -- dined with him and mutual acquaintances when he was in town for a book signing at a book store on Belt Line in Addison.
10. Jade St. Clair - Miss Nude World -- I once had to fondle her breasts backstage at a strip club. She was convinced one implant was leaking and wanted me to check. I'd never felt implants before in my life and had no idea what I was supposed to be feeling for --- I still don't know!
11. Cocktails with David Bowie in Dublin
12. "Cocktails" with Johnny Depp at the Paramount in NYC
13. Cocktails with Mick Jagger at Downtime in NYC

Ruby Tuesday

Yesterday I found out I was a slumlord by Pile of Dog Bones. Alas, I regret that I took such bad care of him during his tenure on my blog. So without further ado -- I invite you to visit Michigan Rafter -- you can find the link to the blog on the right, just underneath the clock.

Also on the right, you will see a new Playboy promo showing an ample breast shot -- for those of you men that are needing your 10 minutes of "oogling" per day for a longer life, I invite you to oogle away.

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On other blogs of note, here are some that I find interesting, intriguing and/or entertaining:

• Travel Italy -- for those of us that love to visit and experience the real Europe, this is a good insiders blog.
• Ghost Boy -- ahh, Horace Finkle, you gotta love him. He's recently dead and has his own blog featuring some great real ghost photos!
• Life in the Corner -- a blog by a 2.5 year old English lad and his various adventures that have him spending ample "naughty corner" time.
• Publius Rendezvous -- you gotta love Reagan to like this blog.
• The Daily Exposure -- John Waller, a UK lad, that takes some fantastic photos. I love good photography.
• Ah Yes, Medical School -- this is the first blog that got me really looking at blogs. A great first hand account of an aspiring licensed doctor muddling his way through medical school.

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Aerosmith's Steven Tyler is not exactly known for his banker boy image. But I confess that someone must have gone a bit nuts with the hot glue gun on his helmet!

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There has been a number of queries to my blog using a variation on "stop invasion grassfire billboard". So here is an update on where the www.Grassfire.org billboard situation stands:

The first billboard is up in Dallas on I-35 (a.k.a. the NAFTA highway)

Other billboards are going up in Southern California, Arizona, South Florida & Atlanta.

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And to finish things off, we have Fat Man news......

First there is Fat Man Walking - Steve Vaught, who today is completing his cross country walk. Way to go!! Check out all the details on his site at: http://www.thefatmanwalking.com/

And secondly, we have Fat Man Dancing -- this is a perfect example of the ONLY thing rap music is good for -- spoofs!


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Sex Tax Deductions and Okie Tattoos

Australia must be quite progressive. The recently released new tax code aimed specifically at those working in the sex trade industry. Some deductions include: dance lessons, condoms and advertising. They cannot claim any expenses to maintain their general fitness or body shape.

You can read the full details at this site: http://www.ato.gov.au/businesses/content.asp?doc=/content/69324.htm

Sex trade -- an interesting occupation. I recall once in high school being asked that tired old question of ".....and what do you want to do when you are out of school?" I think it was for those cheesy yearbook things. I said something along the lines of "dress cool and work at night" so right from the get go I was destined to be an escort or work in the entertainment industry.

I'm not a good enough actress to be an escort.

When I had my loft in Deep Ellum (nightclub part of Dallas), there was an escort that lived across the hall....Chelsea. Supposedly she charged $300 an hour and supposedly most of the guys didn't want sex. While there were some decent looking types in their Porsches and Jags, there were a lot of "oh my God" types pulling up in jalopeys -- trust me, that $300 would have been much better spent on maintaing their cars!

And then there are friends like Tera & Roxy who also have worked extensively in the sex industry but not as escorts. Tera was in lots of films -- Roxy is a Penthouse centerfold. I adore both of them -- great people. I found I didn't judge them about their lifestyle choices because they were open and professional about it. Whereas with Chelsea, she kept trying to con people but she was a lousy con artist so it just made the whole situation pathetic.

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In other adventurous news, an acquaintance, Tigger, has finally had his hard work with the Oklahoma legislature pay off. Tattoos are about to be legal in Okie-land! Those of you in the Dallas area are well acquainted with Tigger as he has owned some of the best tattoo parlors around.

Tigger even made it onto ABCNews.com as you can see in this photo. The story can be read here.

Tigger opened up shop a few weeks ago in Ada and business has been good -- until the DA tried to flex his muscles. But with the legislation, the DA will had better behave himself.

And alas, Dallas will not have such an influx of Okie's descending upon us to proclaim such obvious statements as...

"Gosh, you all sure drive fast here."

"I never realized Dallas was such a friendly place. We got to town and saw lots of rainbow stickers on cars."

Yes -- I actually heard that last comment. Some Ayrian looking boy with blonde hair & blue eyes that swore he was Native American mistook the gay pride rainbow stickers for Texans just being friendly!

I hope that child made his way back safely to Oklanowhere.

Is Tom Cruise Evolving into The Joker?

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that as Tom Cruise ages, he has begun to look like Jack Nicholson as The Joker?

** Compare and contrast for yourself **

Idle Wanderings...

Sometimes it's interesting to learn about people in your life that are really in tune to their vibes. Today I was on the phone with someone who said they wanted to be a sponsor to an event -- he has a "cabaret". Ok, we'll run with that....what exactly is this cabaret going to be doing at this event? Topless girls of course....it made perfect sense to the wannabe sponsor for the very reasons why it wouldn't work in reality. The more he spoke, the more anxious I was to get off the phone.....bad vibes. So bad, that my first desire was to throw the phone into a bucket of Lysol to sanitize it.

Then I hear about a group of guys that were trying to get the bad vibes out of their office. Their solution was to focus intently on an egg for a day and then throw it out the window. I have never heard of that one before. My first choice is to grab the abalone shell, toss in a healthy dose of lakota white sage and light a match to it. It's called smudging and the Native Americans are big in to it -- it seems to help cleanse the air of negativity.

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Have you noticed that it's Cinco de Mayo? And on a Friday! Usually, for about a month leading up to it there is a big advertising blitz for Tex Mex foods and Corona beer -- at least in this part of the world there is. And Corona does some amusing ad campaigns -- but I have noticed that the billboards that were up 6 weeks ago are now featuring something else and there has been no talk whatsoever of "cinco de mayo". God forbid any more fuel be tossed onto that fire.

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Sometimes I sepnd time looking at homes on Realtor.com to see what types of homes are going for what prices and with what types of amenities. At times it's a curse and a blessing that I was exposed to real estate development my entire life and went to design school. I glance at the floorplans in the Sunday real estate section of the paper and think to myself, "What the fuck?" I am constantly amazed that these $300k new homes have these awful floorplans. Without fail they will have some "open air" design for the downstairs and upstairs they will have a big ass "media room" and teeny tiny bedrooms.

Oh and don't get me started on decor -- but suffice to say that I cannot stand "small print" patterns on wallpapers. The only time that works is in a half-bath --- with the lights off. Small prints do not work in large rooms -- it's visually chaotic. Flourescent lighting anywhere is also a major faux pas.

I remember the first time I saw an "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode. The person I was with was laughing hysterically and I'm sitting there with this look of sheer horror on my face -- my God, how many colors and patterns did the set designers cram into that one set?! It was sheer madness and no wonder they were screaming and fighting all the time.

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On the Stones front, Mick is pissed. What WAS Keith doing up a coconut tree in the middle of a tour. Supposedly they will be moving forward with the European tour at the end of this moth with or without Keith. Evidentally, the New Zealand doctors haven't given Keith the all clear to fly.

Thursday 13

1. I won't take any prescription medication.
2. I don't eat anything that I have to bite & tear -- like corn on the cob, apples, ribs, etc. I will use a knife & fork.
3. I don't watch television.
4. If I need to watch something, it's on my portable DVD player.
5. I use Purell sanitizer religiously on my hands.
6. My favourite tequilla is chilled Patron - which is to be sipped, not slammed.
7. I like English (cabbage) roses best.
8. Favorite junk food is Chipotle -- steak fajita burrito with corn relish, sour cream, cheese & lettuce.
9. Favorite ice cream is Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide.
10. I use a Franklin Planner (paper & binder) rather than an electronic device.
11. Favourite workout is Pilates.
12. Longest trip on the Harley -- Dallas to The Dragon in North Carloina.
13. A favorite band is Sisters of Mercy

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

Once again The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Cashtration : The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Happy Birthday Johnny Chop

Sitting here late working on a project when my Outlook rings it's little reminder bell. I click on it -- "Johnny Chop's Birthday". All my energy has zapped out of me.

Johnny -- you are in a better place though we all still miss you very much.

Groupies

I was informed today that I have groupies. "As if -- I do not," I replied. "Oh yes you do!" "Who would be a groupie of mine?" Supposedly some biker boy types are groupies of mine. I don't see it and then the "eyes" and "voice" were mentioned....then the hair. I think I sighed and rolled my eyes.

The first time I was told I had bedroom eyes was in high school -- by a girl no less. Seems I was asking a question, I didn't exactly buy the answer and I kind of looked at her and she said, "Oh, don't turn those bedroom eyes on me." To say I was taken aback by that comment would be an understatement.

It's kind of weird though because a lot of people tell me they remember me because of the eyes. I don't know what makes mine different -- they are brown, very dark brown -- not malachite green or ice blue. Brown. I don't wear much, if any, shadow -- just eyeliner and mascara for the most part.

Then there's the voice ....Lord help me, the "phone sex" voice. So many times I've heard I have a phone sex voice -- and that's in a professional situation! What the devil do you say in response to something like that? I've always considered my voice kind of weak -- I admit it's soft and that I don't project it well. It's the first thing to give out when I come down with something and the last thing to recover.

Then you have the hair -- my security blanket. I used to say that I was glad I didn't have that big ass Texas hair thing going on. But, one day I was flipping through a book by Helen Bryant Fixin' To Be Texan and she discusses Texas hair and says women wear it 1 of 2 ways here -- either all spritzed up and sprayed within an inch of its life OR really long because people have always oo'ed and ahh'ed over it so they can never bring themselves to cut it.

Obviously I fall into the later category. I have guys that I barely know that ask to shampoo it -- brush it -- run their hands through it......makes me shudder since I have that quasi-Howard Hughes'ish anti-germ thing going on.

But this whole converstion made me think of my first real experience with groupies.

Duran Duran played a sold out show at Reunion Arena in Dallas. My tix were on the floor and afterwards my friends were going to try to get me into a very popular club where they knew the management -- obviously I was underage at that point. So, I had dressed well due to going to the club later. (Ffor the record, I don't recall where the parents were as they were gone more often than not so I had lots of "me" time).

While mingling on the floor with people I knew from school, I made my way up to the front of the stage and asked a guy who was standing there if he was there for the sound check -- he was. I asked if the opening band was good -- he told me they were. I said something along the lines of "Cool -- thanks!" and turned to walk away. The guy called after me and said, "Hey, was that all you wanted to know?" It was. So then he said, "Come back after the show and I'll take you backstage to meet Duran." I smiled and said thanks but thinking to myself all the time, "Yeah, right."

The show was stellar, had a great time and as they went into the encore I decided, "What the hell," and primped the makeup a bit. So the show is over and I tell my friends I'd catch up to them later. They thought I was insane. But I told them I had cab fare so not to worry. Honestly, it was Duran Duran, I was 16 and I adored them - especially Nick Rhodes -- so why not see if I could get the program signed.

I kind of hung back watching the scene and the crowd made their way out. There was a gaggle of girls at the front of the stage screaming for any remnants from the stage to be thrown their way -- guitar picks, towels, drumsticks, etc. Security started making their way towards them to escort them out and that's when I made my move and walked towards the front. The guy that I had spoken to earlier was about to walk backstage and I called out, "Hey, remember me?" He smiled and came over to the front, grabbed my hand and led me behind the barrier.

For some reason I glanced over my left shoulder towards the girl gaggle and oh my God if looks could have killed I would have been dead on the spot.

So backstage there's all this activity with people rushing about and I stand to the side out of the way and start chatting with some other people back there. Simon Le Bon is out first from getting showered and changed -- he signed my program, then Roger Taylor and then as the activity level increases, John Taylor glances down at me, grabs my arm with a smile and says, "Let's go!"

So as I'm hustled towards one of 6 black limos I glance up to see lines of fans surrounding the fence above us at the back of Reunion. Everyone jumps into the cars and they literally peeled out. As we approached the freeway the cars split all going in different directions -- except for 2 of them.

Those 2 cars actually held the band -- the others were decoys. As we made out way to the Mandalay at Las Colinas the guys were chatting, asking questions and just as pleasant and courteous as could be. I remember they particularly liked the fact that the planes could taxi over the roadway at DFW Airport -- silly, but they said how kewl they thought that was.

So once we got to the hotel, everyone made their way to the bar and the drinks were flowing. I thnk I had one and I finally met Nick Rhodes - I was heartbroken because he was about 4" shorter than I but he was still damn cute.

At some point through the darkened exterior windows we could see real groupies running around -- spandex, tube tops, etc. Everything that they thought they should be wearing. What was most memorable was the change in the band -- they lost their maturity and began making the crassest comments about the girls. I'm not going to go into detail, but suffice to say if the girls had heard them, they would have been horrified. And something about that moment really stuck with me about what boys in the bands really like and what they don't.

About 2am, I said good night to the people I had met and went out to the lobby to get a cab.

Honestly, did you expect this story to end with me romping about with one of the guys?

Please....I'm not a groupie nor do I want any of my own!
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"You Don't Speak For Me" and "Stop The Invasion"

As so many have become quite livid over the recent "Let's Legalize Criminal Behavior" a.k.a. "Guest Worker Program"concept, here are a couple organizations stepping up to the plate to defend how many of us view this situation:

First -- is the info from the "You Don't Speak For Me" coaliton which is comprised of many upstanding citizens of Hispanic descent.

Second -- is information from www.Grassfire.org on "Stop The Invasion" billboard campaign they have launched. Their site provides a real time graphic to show the completion of each billboard.

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You Don't Speak For Me Coalition

lIlegal Aliens on the Streets 'Don't Speak for Us,' Says New Hispanic-American Coalition
Press Release
Posted on 04/26/2006 3:57:40 PM PDT by HEMICRASHBOX

WASHINGTON, April 26 /PRNewswire/ -- Recent nationwide street demonstrations by illegal aliens and their supporters, demanding amnesty for 12 million or more illegal immigrants, have been portrayed in the media as representing the views of all Hispanics in the U.S. However, according to opinion polls, including one conducted by the Pew Hispanic Center, Americans are divided on the issue with 53% saying that people who are in the U.S. illegally should be required to go home.

According to the Pew Study, a growing number also believe that illegal immigrants are a burden to the country, taking jobs and housing and creating strains on the health care system. These facts reflect the position of many Hispanic-Americans -- citizens, legal immigrants and the children of immigrants -- who strongly oppose amnesty for illegal aliens and support enforcement of U.S. immigration laws.

In response to the hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens who have been marching under the Mexican flag demanding to be rewarded for having violated U.S. immigration law, a new coalition has been formed to accurately represent Hispanics in the U.S. who work hard, play by the rules and want the opportunity to see their own kids get ahead. Known as "You Don't Speak for Me," the coalition aims to dispel the impression that the people out on the streets represent the views of all Hispanic-Americans.

"Politicians and the media seem to believe that Hispanic-Americans hold a monolithic view on the subject of immigration," said Pete Nunez, a former Assistant Secretary of the Treasury and a spokesman for the group. "In fact, millions of Hispanic-Americans -- including many who have gone through the immigration process the right way -- are offended by the demands being made by people who have broken our nation's laws. We are even more offended that the views of Hispanic citizens are not being accurately portrayed."

The "You Don't Speak for Me" coalition supports the strengthening and enforcement of U.S. immigration laws, including manpower and barriers along the U.S.-Mexico border, denial of non-emergency benefits and services to people who are in the country illegally, and vigorous enforcement against businesses that hire illegal aliens.

"Hispanic-Americans are often the people who are harmed the most by our government's failure to enforce our immigration laws," Nunez said. "More often than not, it's our jobs, our social services, and the education of our children that are most adversely affected by illegal immigration. A massive illegal alien amnesty, with millions more relatives being allowed to enter the country, followed by what will likely be an even greater wave of illegal immigration will de devastating to the country and particularly to Hispanic citizens."

With another round of illegal immigrant demonstrations scheduled for May 1, "You Don't Speak for Me" is urging the media to portray fairly the views of Hispanic-Americans on this issue. "You Don't Speak for Me" spokespeople around the nation are available to speak to the media to present a balanced picture of Hispanic-American views on illegal immigration and amnesty for illegal aliens.

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Stop The Invasion Billboards

With hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens protesting in our streets, Grassfire wanted to do something to give grassroots Americans a way to make a statement to counter these protests.

That’s when one of our team members suggested that we launch a campaign to place GIANT “Stop The Invasion” billboards in cities across the nation.

How is the campaign sponsored? We are asking grassroots Americans to literally sponsor this billboard campaign “one square foot at a time.” A gift of $25 to help Grassfire expand the voice of grassroots conservatives on this and other issues sponsors one square foot of a billboard. Team members can sponsor as much as they would like and we will track the progress on our website by updating our sponsorship billboard graphic.

Where will the billboards be?

Right now, Grassfire is launching the campaign with a giant billboard in Dallas, Texas. Dallas is quickly becoming one of the key flashpoints in this battle and is where the largest illegal alien protest recently took place. We want to take this “Stop The Invasion” message directly to where hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens protested in our streets.

What about my state?

Our goal is to see these billboards spread across the nation as team members step forward to sponsor each board -- foot by foot. As the campaign expands (based on the support of grassroots team members), we will be placing more billboards in more communities. If a future billboard is scheduled for your state, we will automatically apply YOUR GIFT TODAY to your state’s billboard!

See The Billboard Campaign Here

Real-Life Doctor Experiences

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs -and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX.

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At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

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One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

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During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

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While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

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I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

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A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
Submitted by RN no name

AND FINALLY!!!..

As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
Dr. wouldn't submit his name

Guest Worker or Amnesty?

An acquaintance, who has the Jane Loves Tarzan blog, made a post yesterday regarding her feelings about tomorrow's proposed boycott. Something about my last post irked her - even though she wasn't mad at me, I think it was the situation to which I was posting -- A Day Without A Mexican.

Not ALL Mexicans or those of Mexican descent support the current chaotic state of things in the U.S. By and large, most I know are quite offended by what is transpiring. This isn't about Mexicans -- it's about Illegal Immigrants -- regardless of what country they are from, nothing more, nothing less.

Jane makes an excellent point about this "Guest Worker" nonsense -- call it what it is, which is "amnesty". A free ticket for brazenly breaking the law.

I really think the media and politicians have it collossally wrong on this issue -- the camera face time is going towards the protestors but there is a seriously strong undercurrent of those that are livid over this situation.

A guy I was riding with today invited me to dinner. Over fantastic steaks he asks his wife how many of the employees at her company are skipping work tomorrow -- they expect the number to be half. He told her he wanted a list of those employees because he is going to blacklist them from receiving any future comped tickets to sporting events that he has graciously provided in the past from his own company which is a major auto parts supplier.

What is the reality of what this situation means to those of us in Texas, Arizona and California? An influx of even more immigrants that we have to support. YES -- you read that correctly. Aside from their basic living expenses, they are sending their money back to their homeland and relying upon our tax dollars to educate their kids and provide them medical care and subsidize other needs.

Texas already took in more than 500,000 evacuees from Katrina -- that is 1/4 the population of Dallas or the ENTIRE population of Montana. 1 state -- Texas. And on top of this we are paying out the ying yang on taxes (thank God we don't have a state income tax) to support illegal immigrants.

This really hit home a few years ago when I had to go to Parkland Hospital to pick up a friend who was being treated for cancer. Glenda was a homeowner for many years, paid her taxes, never was a burden on the system and didn't have health insurance. Then she got cancer and had to go to Parkland - the county hospital that her property taxes help support. On many ocassions she was in a sea of humanity speaking Spanish, filling out Spanish forms -- illegal immigrants that worked the system to the hilt.

Meanwhile, she's in tears waiting 9 hours for a basic check up because she had never burdened the system and didn't know how to play the game.

I truly believe that property taxpayers in Dallas County should receive preferential treatment to illegal immigrants.

And that is just an example of why the illegal immigrant amnesty situation is such a ridiculous concept.

The U.S. Rocks!

Monday is "The Day Without A Mexican." All Mexicans are supposed to boycott work & school to criticize how awful the US is for not allowing illegals to just have carte blanche citizenship.

So to partake in the festivities on Monday I swear that I will NOT do the following:

1. I will not order from Taco Bell
2. I will not drink Corona
3. I will not beat the hell out of a piñata

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Read this experience by a SW Bell (now AT&T) director who worked in Mexico.

I spent five years working in Mexico. I worked under a tourist visa for three months and could legally renew it for three more months. After that you were working illegally. I was technically illegal for three weeks waiting on the FM3 approval.

During that six months our Mexican and US Attorneys were working to secure a permanent work visa called a FM3. It was in addition to my US passport that I had to show each time I entered and left the country. Barbara's was the same except hers did not permit her to work.

To apply for the FM3 I needed to submit the following notarized originals (not copies) of my:

1. Birth certificates for Barbara and me.

2. Marriage certificate.

3. High school transcripts and proof of graduation.

4. College transcripts for every college I attended and proof of graduation.

5. Two letters of recommendation from supervisors I had worked for at least one year.

6. A letter from The ST. Louis Chief of Police indicating I had no arrest record in the US and no outstanding warrants and was "a citizen in good standing."

7. Finally; I had to write a letter about myself that clearly stated why there was no Mexican citizen with my skills and why my skills were important to Mexico. We called it our "I am the greatest person on earth" letter. It was fun to write.

All of the above were in English that had to be translated into Spanish and be certified as legal translations and our signatures notarized. It produced a folder about 1.5 inches thick with English on the left side and Spanish on the right.

Once they were completed Barbara and I spent about five hours accompanied by a Mexican attorney touring Mexican government office locations and being photographed and fingerprinted at least three times. At each location (and we remember at least four locations) we were instructed on Mexican tax, labor, housing, and criminal law and that we were required to obey their laws or face the consequences.

We could not protest any of the government's actions or we would be committing a felony. We paid out four thousand dollars in fees and bribes to complete the process. When this was done we could legally bring in our household goods that were held by US customs in Laredo Texas. This meant we rented furniture in Mexico while awaiting our goods. There were extensive fees involved here that the company paid.

We could not buy a home and were required to rent at very high rates and under contract and compliance with Mexican law.

We were required to get a Mexican drivers license. This was an amazing process. The company arranged for the licensing agency to come to our headquarters location with their photography and finger print equipment and the laminating machine. We showed our US license, were photographed and fingerprinted again and issued the license instantly after paying out a six dollar fee. We did not take a written or driving test and never received instructions on the rules of the road. Our only instruction was never give a policeman your license if stopped and asked. We were instructed to hold it against the inside window away from his grasp. If he got his hands on it you would have to pay ransom to get it back.

We then had to pay and file Mexican income tax annually using the number of our FM3 as our ID number. The companies Mexican accountants did this for us and we just signed what they prepared. It was about twenty legal size pages annually.

The FM 3 was good for three years and renewable for two more after paying more fees. Leaving the country meant turning in the FM# and certifying we were leaving no debts behind and no outstanding legal affairs (warrants, tickets or liens) before our household goods were released to customs.

It was a real adventure and If any of our senators or congressmen went through it once they would have a different attitude toward Mexico. The Mexican Government uses its vast military and police forces to keep its citizens intimidated and compliant. They never protest at their White House or government offices but do protest daily in front of the United States Embassy.

The US embassy looks like a strongly reinforced fortress and during most protests the Mexican Military surround the block with their men standing shoulder to shoulder in full riot gear to protect the Embassy. These protests are never shown on US or Mexican TV. There is a large public park across the street where they do their protesting. Anything can cause a protest such as proposed law changes in California or Texas.

Please feel free to share this with everyone who thinks we are being hard on illegal Immigrants.

Bringing In The Weekend

Spent all afternoon into the early evening at the Arlington Hooters as KZPS was doing their Bringing In The Weekend party live remote.

So sad -- we are sitting at the table closest to where Magoo is broadcasting and it's just cramed full of empty Corona bottles. Naturally I hadn't eaten all day so I had a good buzz going.

Luck smiled on me and my name was drawn -- I love swag. As I got up, Magoo is announcing, "Oh yeah, Raine -- she'll put that Royal Purple to use. This girl has her own bike and she can RIDE!!"

I got a KZPS bandana, shirts, a coupon for all sorts of free Royal Purple stuff (which is exceptional for a bike!) including:

• 6 Quarts Royal Purple Motor Oil
• 1 NAPA oil filter
• 1 bottle of Purple Ice

... and a very kewl DVD I look forward to watching -- The Old Grey Whistle Test. Included on this DVD are live performances by:

• Heads Hands and Feet
• Roxy Music
• Loggins & Messina
• The Who
• Judee Sill
• Argent
• Average White Band
• Jim Croce
• New York Dolls
• Tim Buckley
• Montrose
• Bruce Johnston
• Nils Lofgren
• Hall & Oates
• Joan Armatrading
• The Adverts
• Patti Smith Group
• Meatloaf
• Siouxsie & the Banshees (YEA!!!!)
• Orchestral Manoeuvers in the Dark
• Aztec Camera
• Thomas Dolby
• The Style Council
• Suzanne Vega
• Simply Red
• Prefab Sprout
• The Pogues
• The Undertones
• Squeeze

Cracked me up because my guy from KZPS is oo'ing and ahh'ing over it -- he had no idea they had it to give away.

Tomorrow should be interesting -- depending upon the weather I will either be riding or not. Sunday will be a good day for the Germanfest in Muenster. I think a pretty good crowd is up to riding up there. I've got to get a digital camera!

Belated Thursday 13

Yes, I know this was supposed to have been posted yesterday when everyone else did theirs -- but I was way busy -- besides I was born on Friday the 13th so maybe a "Friday 13" is more appropriate for me.

So without further ado, here is useless trivia you didn't know about me:

1. I prefer the rain to the sun.
2. I prefer the cold to the heat.
3. I wear Chanel Mademoiselle parfum
4. I peel the labels off of all fruit I buy (bananas, lemons, oranges, limes, etc.)
5. All canned goods must be organized with labels facing out (think Sleeping With The Enemy)
6. I can ONLY have black plastic tubular hangers from Container Store in my closet.
7. All clothing is organized by color -- that's why the hangers have to be one color to not contrast.
8. I only use Pentel RSVP pens - preferably in purple, green or black.
9. For signing legal stuff, I use a Waterman LeMan Opera fountain pen with dark blue ink.
10. The only beer I perfer to drink is Corona with a juicy wedge of lime.
11. Jewelry has to be white gold / sterling / platinum -- I can't stand yellow gold.
12. My favorite candle fragrance is Votivo's Night.
13. A favorite band is Concrete Blonde.

Wednesday....

So many projects are really beginning to pick up speed. I was so thankful the weather was so brisk today! It's was 50 degrees cooler than this time last week! I wish all summer could be mild temperatures (80's) all day long.

BTW -- the image on the right is just for amusement sake -- good ad for a law firm!

I stopped American Cycle Company where Ryan was supposed to be working on (This content has been edited by Raine due to annoyances incurred by some desperate female that has been reading my posts.) _____________ bike. So far nothing has been done due to trying to figure out how to make an '06 flywheel work on an '01 __________. _______________________ has put about 90,000 miles on his bike in 5 years so is having a ton of stuff done to the bike. The flywheel is a big issue because Harley cut corners and used a plastic component which should be replaced every 30k miles. ______has never been replaced. So Ryan & Clip are talking to lots of fellow wrenchers to see if this piece can work -- it was purchased for a steal on eBay -- hopefully it can work. Time will tell.

Stopped by KZPS and Hooters corporate and then headed over to Scott Arndt's new shop to pick up a couple things. His daughter is so funny -- she's running around showing everyone a "before and after" photograph that's in a plastic surgery magazine of a woman with fried hair (before) and extensions (after) -- this woman is someone from Scott's not too distant professional past.

All I can say is that if you plan on making enemies -- don't have your bad side displayed for the world to see!

Tomorrow is KZPS Bike Night at the Addison Hooters and then Friday will be KZPS' "Bringing in the Weekend" at the Arlington Hooters -- which, God willing, will have their full bar license on Friday! That's will be very good because a certain VP of Marketing owes me a hefty cocktail!!!

Is Today's Motorcycle Owner Nothing More Than Biker Trash?

Since so many bikers visit this blog, here is the latest on the North Texas Rock Rally -- the offical press release is below.

I am in a unique position to actually know why the Rally has moved from McKinney (30 miles north of Dallas) to Alvarado (30 miles southwest of Dallas). Initially the Rally had found a nice location in McKinney and the Mayor, Chamber of Commerce, etc., were all enthusiastically supporting it.

Unfortunately, the Commissioners Court needed to authorize the issuance of the Mass Gathering Permit and opted to vote against it. I was at the meeting the Court held and I must say, in my personal opinion and NOT one that is in an official capacity, some of the people that stood before the Court to give their opinion on why the Rally should not be held in McKinney, made the event sound like it was going to be a repeat of the 1969 Rolling Stones' Altamont concert.

Out of the 9 reasons as stipulated by the State of Texas as to why a permit can be denied, the Rally had addressed all of them so there was NO reason to have denied the permit. I think it would fair to note that the Judge for the Court was up for relection 2 weeks later -- he subsequently lost the election. The Rally had the option of appealing the decision or moving to a different county. They moved.

So in a nutshell, this insanely high desired demographic group that so much of corporate America is trying to get a toe-hold into is deemed unworthy by Collin County Commissioners Court. As reporter Ed Housewright, opened his April 4th, Dallas Morning News article, "We don't want you."

I don't know what world some of these people are living in but let's think some things through --

• Texas is the 2nd largest motorcycle market in the US
• Dallas/Ft Worth is the 13th largest urban market in the US
• People who invest $25,000 plus into a HOBBY are usually TAX PAYING and VOTING members of society that more often than not are business owners, mid - high level management.
• They are home owners with 2 cars and many finanical investments.

Here is a quote from one of the persons that appeared before the Court: "We're worried about the traffic problems this is going to create, the noise complaints, DWIs, traffic violations, drug trafficking, weapons violations and increase in relative crime," Sheriff Box told commissioners."

Who, in God's name, does he think the majority of the motorcycle owners in north Texas are? He thinks they are druggies? Criminals? He thinks they are going to risk their careers and livliehoods to play hoodlums on 2 wheels for 1 - 3 days?

Anyway -- I think you get the idea of my sentiments over how myself and my fellow 2-wheeled enthusiasts have been portryed. So without further ado -- here's the press release:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

North Texas Rock Rally roars into Alvarado, Texas July 21 – 23, 2006

Dallas, 25 April 2006: The North Texas Rock Rally will be bigger and better than ever. The Rally will take place July 21 – 23, 2006 and has been welcomed with open arms by Johnson County and the surrounding communities.

The Rally will be held at the Diamond W Arena Complex in Alvarado, Texas. This state-of-the-art facility is located at 8901 E. Highway 67 (2 miles east of I-35W) and just 30 minutes south of Dallas/Ft. Worth. On 200 acres and with more than 200,000 square feet indoors to accommodate the main stage, VIP section and Coyote Ugly Saloon, this location provides an ideal setting for Rally attendees. Vendors will be located under cover in the adjacent expo area. Also available are extensive paved lots to accommodate motorcycles, full electricity and water hookups for RV campers and Wi-Fi capabilities.

Gary Littlefield of the North Texas Rock Rally, says, “We are very pleased with the move of NTRR to the new facility. Lisa McCool, owner of the arena, and her staff are very nice and compliable with the needs of the rally. We were nervous moving the rally to another location and especially a new county, but after meeting with Lisa and Johnson County officials, who have been unbelievably receptive, our fears quickly dissipated.”

About North Texas Rock Rally
The third annual North Texas Rock Rally, presented by Hooters, will be held July 21 – 23, 2006 at Diamond W Arena Complex in Alvarado Texas. Each year the Rally has grown and approximately 15,000 – 20,000 attendees are expected this year. This year’s event is presented by Hooters and features musical entertainment from The Outlaws during their 30th Anniversary Tour, Molly Hatchet, Skid Row, Stephen Pearcy (formerly of Ratt) Jimmie Van Zant, Blackberry Smoke, Maylee Thomas, and an all-day Sunday Texas Music Jam featuring homegrown Texas Music, plus 20 local and regional bands. Featured builders include NTRR Host and Master of Ceremonies Kaptain Robbie Knievel, Rick Fairless of Strokers Dallas, John Neger of Trik Daddy’s Custom Cycles, Trevelen Rabanal of Super Co Customs, Alan Lee of Gangsta Cycles and Texas Builders Row showcases Mike DuSold of DuSold DeSigns, Denny Garley of TC Custom Bikes, Jimmie Lee & John Coen of Three Two Choppers, Mario Cavazos of Killa Cycles, Danny Davidson of Williamson County Choppers and Scott Arndt of Scott’s Hardcore Kustoms. Activities include the Dallas Chop Shop Ride In Bike Show, Gasoline Alley Car Show, 3rd Annual Chili Rick’s Chili & BBQ Cook-Off, Texas Legends Tattoo Contest, Rock Rally Grand Prix with go kart races, Rock Rally Midway, Helicopter and Hot Air Balloon Rides. The Christian Motorcycle Association’s North Texas Chapter will be conducting the Sunday Morning Services and Blessing of the Bikes.

Tickets are available at all Texas Hooters locations and online at the NTRR site at www.ntrr.com.

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Why Are Black Bike Shorts So Popular?

Because the alternative would be.....

Mick & George Feud Over Hotel Room!

What is so special about this hotel room? Well, it seems that President George Bush can’t get no satisfaction — after Mick Jagger grabbed his hotel room.

The Rolling Stone splashed out $5,400 a night for the suite days before the US leader tried to book it.

Now Sir Mick, 62, who has been a fierce critic of the Bush-led war in Iraq, is refusing to give it up.

The veteran rocker hired the luxury Royal Suite at the five-star Imperial Hotel in Vienna, Austria, for June when the Stones are due to play a gig in the city.

George and entourage are forced to find lodgings elsewhere.

Texasisms

Once you cross the state line and find yourself within the state of Texas, there are a few things to keep in mind:

Don't kill anybody -- Texas has no qualms using the death penalty. It's an almost weekly occurance in Huntsville.

The language is a bit skewed. Yes, we speak English -- but we have our own spin on it: Here are some examples:

1. "Fixin" is universal. I am fixin dinner - I am fixin to go to the store, etc.
2. I O No -- in the rest of the country this translates to "I don't know". For us, it's "ahohno"
3. Bidness -- (Business) somehow the last "s" can be pronounced but not the first as it becomes a hard "d"

The famous "ya'll". Let's clear this one up so that you use it in its proper context (I thank The Illustrious One for this definition):

1. "Fuck ya'll" -- that's directed to 1-2 people
2. "Fuck all ya'll" -- that's directed to 3 or more people

And yes - there is that famous shirt, "Fuck You We're From Texas" which was masterfully thought up by Jeff Liles when he had his DDT band (Decadent Dub Team). It was made famous when Slash in his Guns 'n Roses heyday wore it for an interview with MTV.

Another quirk is that once you are within the state lines, you will be exposed to the "Texas is better than anyone else" mentality.

But it's more defined than even that -- the cities wrangle for top spot. As a Dallasite, I think Houston stinks -- literally -- it smells plus it's very humid. Austin is too hippy. Fort Worth -- God love them, those people in FW do try their little hearts out.

How can 2 cities seperated by 30 miles have such vastly different vibes? I don't know -- but it's real. As a Dallas girl, I still get a laugh out of a stupid joke that is true....

Q: "What is the one thing that Fort Worth has that Dallas doesn't?

A: "A major metropolitan city within 200 miles."

Don't get me wrong - Dallas has it's issues. Vain - shallow - materialistic. We are surrounded by buildings with mirrored windows. There are more plastic surgeries performed on men and women in Dallas than in Los Angles. Good God, even our hard core biker gangs dress better than those in surrounding states.

Another weird thing is that about once a month someone will ask me where I am from and without fail the convesation goes like this:

"Where are you from?"
"Dallas."
"No - originally, where are you from?"
"Dallas."
"You don't sound like it."
"I'm 5th generation."
'You kind of sound like you have a European accent."
"Don't know what to tell you."

Now what I've always found odd about this, is that myself, an ex-boyfriend, Hunter & Lane all have the same accent. We're natives. So wouldn't it seem that we are the ones that would be acknowledged as having the "Dallas accent?" I guess everyone has memories of JR Ewing's twang and are trying like hell to make us fit that mold.

I also have a theory about what perpetuates the Southern drawl / Texas twang / Redneck voices that visitors expect to hear. I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that whenever some broadcast news organization needs a quote from someone that claims to be from here, is that they interview 20 people (at least) and select the most hick sounding person for that much needed sound bite.

I can't prove this -- but it's just a theory I have.

Happy Birthday Harley Amadeus! ~and~ Biker News ~and~ Treo 700

Today is the 5th birthday of my beloved Harley Amadeus. He is the inspiration for my "Banned Breed" theme.

Since he's a Doberman, even though he is as sweet as can be, he is considered a banned breed by a lot of places.

Harley Amadeus has his natural ears -- floppy like a Beagle. A lot of people have told me how humane that was of me to not crop them. I would like to take credit, but alas, I cannot. His ears aren't cropped because I didn't want to mess with the bandages and related drama that goes into cropping.

He also has an extensive selection of toys from the Harley-Davidson squeaky dog toy collection. He is the first Doberman I have ever had that could use squeaky toys -- the others took one chomp and it was toast.

The Illustrious One's kid has gotten Harley Amadeus a vanilla cake -- good kid.

Now on to other topics --

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Sunday I am attending the Harley Drag Races in Ennis. I'll be chilling in the NAPA suite with my partners in crime.

Next Thursday, KZPS is having a Bike Night at the Addison Hooters. I am sitting here with $160,000 worth of North Texas Rock Rally tickets -- some of which will be used as swag for those attending the Bike Nights.

Yes - I will be attending the ROT Rally (Republic of Texas) in Austin the first weekend of June. The base camp will be Coyote Ugly on 6th Street on Friday & Saturday nights and joining me for the ride will The Illustrious One, Mike DuSold, Denny Garley, Jimmie Lee & John Coen and Scott Arndt.

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In closing, I have found out that Sprint will soon be offering the Treo 700 -- if anyone knows where I can get a decadently good and cheap price on one I would greatly appreciate it!