Why I Hate Summer....
Summer -- is hot.
Summer is the time of year when people wear shorts that bunch up between their legs so the rear view of them leaves you wondering, "Don't they feel all that bunched up material between their legs?"
Summer is also the time of one of my ultimate pet peeves. I hate flip flops. I hate sandals. I hate thongs. I hate mandals. Whatever the hell you call those canvas - plastic strip straps of half-ass footwear that people wear that expose their nasty ass feet and ugly toes -- I can't stand.
If someone could see my eyes behind my sunglasses they would see me looking at disgust at whomever is walking past me in their noxious flip flops with that horrifically annoying sound -- flip FLOP flip FLOP flip FLOP. It makes me want to be an Iraqi and whack someone in the face with their shoe.
When that big statue of Saddam-ass came toppling down on CNN a couple years ago I got quite the giggle out of them whacking the statue face with their nasty, dirty sandals.
Since then, usually in the privacy of conversation with The One, I will make a crack about, "I beat'cho wit my cho!" He usually responds with an immitation from The Birdcage -- "It's da choos -- da choos!"
Hey - I never said I was politically correct.
By the way -- yes it's summer -- keep your nasty feet covered. Nobody wants to see your long lanky hairy toes gripping to dear life to a 1/3" thick piece of cheap black rubber.